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My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems...
Where are my freaking... god dammit!
Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me
I'm not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh*t tolerance...
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Posted Feb 18 2009 11:47am
You might only get this if you've been around the mental health system or work in it, but it's damn funny so I'm posting it anyway. I found it here...
:-) stable. cont prozac 40mg. f/u 3 mos.
:-)) reduce prozac to 20mg. f/u 1mo.
:-)))) d/c prozac. add lithium 300 tid. check TSH, creat. f/u 1wk.
:-D add depakote. check lithium level, LFTs, CBC. f/u 1wk.
:-| stable. cont prozac 40 mg. f/u 1mo.
:-( increase prozac to 60mg. f/u 2wk.
:'-( add wellbutrin SR 150mg. f/u 1wk.
X-( call 911. send to ER. check for OD.
:*} check breathalyzer. refer to AA.
%-} weekly tox screen. refer to AA/NA.
:-&@? add haldol 2mg bid.
|-0 d/c ambien.
:-# d/c elavil. use hard candies.
;-P d/c haldol. add clozapine. AIMS exam. vitamin E 800 iu bid.
:-)~ reduce haldol. add cogentin to reduce sialorrhea.
8-~ reduce dose of seroquel.
(:-) reduce depakote. add zinc, selenium.
;-) establish boundaries. do not schedule at end of day.
;-x see with chaperone only.
=^..^= give Ativan 1mg IV to relieve catatonia. (thanks, ClinkShrink)
:-o (on seeing the bill for 1st appt.)
>:-O (on seeing the bill for missed appt.)
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