I try to find a happy medium between busy and alone. I am either always busy or alone 72 hours straight.
Well, I try to keep busy now to avoid thinking about how lonely it is lately.
Really, with winter approaching and all the parties, events and just watching people walking down the street holding hands, it makes me realize how alone I am.
Mixing it in with missing Mom this Christmas, I am really feeling it.
I have friends, who I love and who make my life wonderful that they are in my life, but I am just missing some things.
I worry how I will be alone and get sick like my Mother, with no one to help me. Not that being romantically involved with someone guarantees they will be there for you but it is just a big worry of mine. Then there is the whole Christmas thing and that because I am single without kids, somehow I do not deserve time off at Christmas. It wraps things up that gives loneliness a nice bow.
I am just feeling pretty lonely and I thought writing about it would help.