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BPD Awareness Month Mental Health Statements

Posted May 09 2009 10:09pm 1 Comment

Relating To Depression And Borderline Personality Disorder

* I keep thinking tomorrow is going to be a better day but it never is

* I don't understand why I am not able to push myself through this

* People can not understand what I am going through unless they have been in my shoes

* I am beginning to think that I am being punished for something I did in another life

* People do not understand the amount of effort it takes to appear normal

* I know people think that I am not trying hard enough to get over my illness

* People do not see depression or mental illness in the same light as cancer or any other life threatning disease

* Some days I struggle to keep going

* Some days I think this is going to be life from here on

* The doctors job is to keep me out of the hospital and not to "cure" me

* I do not deal with suicide thoughts I deal with suicide dreams

* The marks on my body do not scream out for attention but they do tell a story

* I rather break every bone in my body then deal with mental illness for at least then I would know when the pain is going to end

* Somewhere in the chaos of the disorder I have completely lost who I once was

* I to wish the old me would come back but that is not something that is possible

* I look forward to sleep until the nightmares appear

* I don't even know what happiness is anymore and I wonder if it truly exists

* I put on my best face when I speak to you because I know you are not interested in the pain and I can not afford to lose you

* The reality of mental illness is that people see suicide as the only option of ending the pain and for some it appears like a Godsend

* I believe the only person who has not given up on me is me

* I am fighting for a life that I have no interest in saving
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Comments (1)
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I believe that the only person that has not given up on me is everyone else except me. Maybe this thinking is on my worse days. The one that hits the hardest, " I put on my best face when I talk to you because I know that you are not interested in the pain and I can not afford to lose you." This so rings true in my romantic relationships. I feel lke this "normal" man that I am currently seeing would just give me away if he knew what I dealt with inside every day. I have very difficult dreams every time that I close my eyes that deal with hurtful past relationships. They are so painful that I hate going to sleep and I wake up in physical pain from hurt. I don't know who I am and perhaps I never will. I have watched myself live my life, like I was floating above my body. Now that I feel like I am living an in-body life, I have never been more confused about what I'm doing here. These articles are the only things that help me!
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