I’m tired and in pain today, and I have so many things to do. I have to find a dress for a wedding this weekend, get new glasses, work, spend time with my love, breathe in and breathe out. It feels like too much. I haven’t yet had a chance to start looking for employment somewhere else. So I am stagnating in my current position, waiting for the roof to fall as California’s budget crumbles.
I thought I was done with my low mood for the month, but it looks like this is bleeding over into my “normal” time, which probably is a result of the layoffs. I never do well when I lose people I cherish unexpectedly, even if they are not lost completely.
I’m just tired, and I have a family wedding to go to on July 4th, which I gotta say, it’s kind of rude to do weddings on a holiday. I want to spend time with my honey because I actually have a paid day off, which means a 3-day weekend. But I will unfortunately be out of town all weekend without him because of the stupid wedding. I wouldn’t go except I haven’t seen most of my dad’s side of the family in 10 years, and since I live less than 200 miles away, I figured it would be downright rude if I didn’t go.
I’m just too tired. My eyes hurt, my back hurts, my leg hurts. I feel as though I could sleep forever, with only the occasional dream to remind me that I am alive. Sounds so peaceful and nice.
Yes, I’m bitching and moaning today, trying to get it out of my system so that people around me don’t have to hear it in real life. Oh well.
I can’t stand that the people I work with are so gung-ho about every goddamn thing. This is all empty bullshit I do for my paycheck every 2 weeks. Nothing more. I don’t have passion about making someone else money, I’m sorry. If that makes me crazy, then so be it.