Anxiety: Depression’s Evil Twin

Some times I have to reverse engineer a bad day to figureout how my anxiety gets the best of me.

Today was a tough day. My oldest child is six years awayfrom college and yet I had a near panic attack worrying about how to pay forher college tuition. I worried about how we are going to pay for braces for myyoungest two...not to mention theircollege tuition.

I worried about what my family would do if something happensto me. I have insurance, but is it enough?

Today was not unlike most Mondays, actually. I don’t dotransitions well—and I’m not talking about my writing style.

The transition from the weekend to the work week is always astruggle. The transition from home to work in the morning and then work back tohome at night is hard some days, too.

Change causes anxiety for me. And as I’ve written before, myproblems controlling anxiety only aggravate my depression.

My doctor just today decided to increase my dosage ofAbilify, because the progress I’ve made since some really dark days this summerhas stalled.

(That paragraph is a good example of a bad transition).

In searching around for information on anxiety anddepression tonight, I found some helpful information on depression and anxiety from the AnxietyDisorders Association of America . It explains that depression and anxietydisorders are different, but some of the symptoms are the same. They includenervousness, irritability, sleeping issues and problems and troubleconcentrating. Sound familiar? Does to me.

I have never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but I don’tneed to be. I know it’s a problem.

So how do I reverse engineer my day? Looking back, I realizeI should have done something helpful when the negative thoughts occurred. Ishould have written down an action item, like figuring out a way to set aside alittle additional money for the kids’ college funds. Then I should have stoppedworrying about it.

If you are like me, that’s easier to say than it is to do.