I was talking to an older friend last night who I find to be very wise. She is a people magnet, everyone loves her within minutes of meeting her. She deals with health issues every day and rarely complains and is always interested in others. Not what you can usually expect from someone who is chronically ill. I asked her how she ended up with so many friends. I wanted to know what makes everyone love her. She answered very simply. "Linda, there is good in everyone. I see it and I focus on it. That magnifies it and multiplies it." She may have just stated the meaning of life; to magnify and multiply goodness. Imagine what could happen if we used that approach with our staff and patients. I actually had a team member that had some personality traits that I found annoying. I realized that I tended to focus on those traits and not only did I become more aggravated by them, she seemed to do more of what drove me nuts. After a while she came to me and said that she could tell that she rubbed me wrong, but didn't know why. She was willing to sit there and hear what my answer would be. We finally had a good talk and I found that even though she toned the offending behaviors down a little, they were still there. I also noticed that they didn't annoy me as much. I think that when she came to me to talk, she gave me something to admire. The more I focused on that, the less the other stuff mattered. I also realized another good thing about her, she keeps on trying. So there are two good traits to counterbalance the annoyances. She came into my office the other day and closed the door. I wondered what was up, of course. She sat down and very nervously and asked me how she's doing. I looked at her earnest face and felt so proud of her. It wasn't easy to come and ask that, I could see it, but she cares. There's good trait number 3. Seems like there's something to that multiplication thing. Looking for the good isn't always easy to remember to do, and sometimes the good can be hard to find. It doesn't mean that you'll never have to ask another employee to leave, either. What is does mean is that maybe you'll help people find things in themselves that they didn't know were there and maybe the ones that have to leave will still think of you as a fair person who gave them a chance.
I was talking to an older friend last night who I find to be very wise. She is a people magnet, everyone loves her within minutes of meeting her. She deals with health issues every day and rarely complains and is always interested in others. Not what you can usually expect from someone who is chronically ill. I asked her how she ended up with so many friends. I wanted to know what makes everyone love her. She answered very simply. "Linda, there is good in everyone. I see it and I focus on it. That magnifies it and multiplies it."
She may have just stated the meaning of life; to magnify and multiply goodness. Imagine what could happen if we used that approach with our staff and patients. I actually had a team member that had some personality traits that I found annoying. I realized that I tended to focus on those traits and not only did I become more aggravated by them, she seemed to do more of what drove me nuts. After a while she came to me and said that she could tell that she rubbed me wrong, but didn't know why. She was willing to sit there and hear what my answer would be. We finally had a good talk and I found that even though she toned the offending behaviors down a little, they were still there. I also noticed that they didn't annoy me as much. I think that when she came to me to talk, she gave me something to admire. The more I focused on that, the less the other stuff mattered. I also realized another good thing about her, she keeps on trying. So there are two good traits to counterbalance the annoyances.
She came into my office the other day and closed the door. I wondered what was up, of course. She sat down and very nervously and asked me how she's doing. I looked at her earnest face and felt so proud of her. It wasn't easy to come and ask that, I could see it, but she cares. There's good trait number 3. Seems like there's something to that multiplication thing.
Looking for the good isn't always easy to remember to do, and sometimes the good can be hard to find. It doesn't mean that you'll never have to ask another employee to leave, either. What is does mean is that maybe you'll help people find things in themselves that they didn't know were there and maybe the ones that have to leave will still think of you as a fair person who gave them a chance.