I should have started with who I am before launching into a litany of sorrow and grief. That would have been the polite way to welcome you into my life. Politeness, however, seems to have fallen by the wayside of late, so I’m going to backtrack at bit. This will set the stage and give you an overview of the main cast of characters who will be mentioned in this blog.
Zil – That's me. Mom to 4 y.o. twins (boy and girl) - my two little birds.
CA - Girl twin. Born first (although just by a minute) and knows it. Preschool teacher predicts she'll be an actress.
CC - Boy twin. Likes things "just so". Preschool teacher predicts he'll be a policeman.
Bon Bini - My third bird who flew away because of the cornual pregnancy.
DH – My wonderful husband of 10 years who is also an unbelievable dad.
And let’s not forget the dogs. Two Pembroke Welsh Corgis - JB (male, 11 years) and AW (female, 8 years).
Our house is a bit like the ark – evenly split between boys and girls.
We lead a sublimely unassuming life in the suburbs. DH works and I work (or will be back to work after recovering from my recent surgery). The kids go to preschool. The dogs hang at home.
I’ll reluctantly admit that a dog walker comes over the days I work. My dogs were my first babies. In my BC (before children) days, I used to take them for long walks, cart them to canine picnics and generally spoil them rotten with toys and treats. I even did agility with AW – who was quite good. Now they have been relegated to home decor – area rugs, splayed across the floor sleeping away the days. I wish I could sleep as many hours as the dogs do.
CA and CC are typical four year olds for the most part. He like cars and she like princesses. They generally like each other too, though things can get a little dicey if they are tired, hungry or bored. They’re highly entertaining – making up games to play and asking a multitude of questions about topics that I would hardly consider on a daily basis had they not been brought to my attention by preschoolers.
CA and CC did not know that I was pregnant, which is good because I’m not sure how I would be able to explain what happened to them. They’ve asked questions about death in general before. Not knowing how to respond without scaring them, I’ve said that people go on to become a star. While I know that there’s more to it, that’s the part that I’d to believe, especially now.
When I was hospitalized, my mother (who stayed with them) told them that I had a belly boo-boo and I needed to be in the hospital so that the doctor could fix it. They know boo-boos and they know hospitals (yes, we’ve made a couple of runs to the ER in our time), so I believe they got the main gist of what was going on. Then, even harder, I had to tell them that I couldn’t do things like lift them (or their toys!) for a while after returning from the hospital. I tried not to cry in front of them – I hid in my room when others were able to care for them. I didn’t want them to see that I was sad because that would have started a whole other string of “why” questions that I was not up to answering.
In summary, life is good (although insanely busy). I have few complaints. We are lucky, and I’ll admit that. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes on our backs. Most importantly, however, we love each other very, very much. I want to protect my family from as many sad and bad things as possible. I want them to sing and dance and smile and laugh every day – because they deserve to be blessed with all of the happiness and love that life has to offer.