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very very upsetting news

Posted Aug 03 2008 11:03am

I was just on facebook now, surfing around, when I went to one of my CF friends from the USA's page, Samantha. We've had contact for about a year, and chatted a lot before transplant. She's my age and got lungs just before Christmas, about a month before me. I know she had a long recovery, but we've chatted again since, and she was doing OK. Well just saw on her wall that she passed away... recently. I don't know any of the other friends, and wouldn't have known if I didn't go her profile...

I'm SO SAD... Why did my transplant work out fine so far, and hers didn't? What makes me special? Do I even deserve it? And I don't mean it in a self-pitying way, but when I see what Gina and so many other are going through, and my friends waiting for lungs, then I can't help wondering why I'm still here. It's just not fair dammit. They deserve a second chance too. And what am I doing with MY LIFE to really appreciate life and my new lungs??? Wish I had more answers...

Rest In Peace Samantha, and breathe easy now. I'm going to miss you.
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