What do you get when you take one cystic, add two months of fevers and acheyness, throw in two courses of IV antibiotics, add a dash of hospital stay and some of the best doctors in the country, mix it up with two very fun and awesome weeks in Turkey, sprinkle on a dash of pretty much every single medical test ever imagined and then let bake (at a pretty much constant temperature of 101 degrees or higher) until covered in a very creepy, weird cluster of reddish-brown rashes?
Apparently, actually, you get a perfectly healthy Piper.
Yeah, I know, I don't get it either. Then again, I've never been much for cooking, although I will admit to a slight addiction to Top Chef. But I AM a lawyer (recent "retirement* from active practice aside -- once a lawyer, always a lawyer), and that should make me a pretty logical person, or at least one used to getting surprising results from odd facts, and for the life of me I still can't figure this one out. What I DO know is this:
*I had one additional 101+ fever on Wednesday night, after writing my last blog *After said fever, which of course occurred at night and was surprisingly difficult to break, I emailed my doctor and basically said "enough! I surrender!" *My extremely wise doctor decided to wait a couple of days, order a few more necessary tests including blood cultures while off the antibiotics, and in the meantime allow me to remain in the comfort of my own home. *Two days later (and two days fever free), my tests were all negative, once again indicating that it was some sort of virus, and my abdominal CT scan showed only two abnormalities: a slightly enlarged spleen, and a missing appendix.
I have to admit, I'm relieved about the appendix. As someone who got the chicken pox TWICE, once caught the flu twice in the SAME SEASON, and may well have gotten mono TWICE if the past two months are any indication, I really wouldn't have been too shocked if my body had decided to grow another one of those suckers just to treat me to the joys of yet another appendectomy. Seriously. That's just how I roll.
Yeah, so anyway, the spleen is still ever-so-slightly enlarged, but the fevers seem to have gone the way of the appendix at last, and not a moment too soon if you ask me. Which, of course, nobody did, but you are reading my blog, after all.
Today I spent the day enjoying what I would call "mild reality." I left the house several times, twice to take short walks with my puppy, once to walk to a neighborhood restaurant for a yummy lunch, and once to visit the very famous FAO Schwartz toy store to pick up some board games, puzzles, and cards. Yeah, that's right. I figure if I might be stuck inside some days/nights/hospitalizations during the wait for these new lungs, I may as well have some way to make staying in a social occasion. You know, as prepared as any 27 year-old who just blew over $100 at a toy store can be.
So tomorrow is going to be a slightly less "mild" dose of real life, involving actual brunch plans with friends (*gasp*), some relaxing sunbathing with a couple of girlfriends on my roofdeck, more dog walking, and a trip to the gym during which I solemnly vow not to expect too much of myself (but still to make genuine effort on the treadmill for at least 20 minutes).
In other words, what do you get when you stir all those things (and more) up and let the whole mess sit for the better part of Summer, 2009? Well, for better or for worse, I guess the answer is life, although I'm sure most of you cystics out there probably already knew that.