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Life isn’t fair

Posted Oct 23 2012 11:30pm

My parents taught me this lesson many times growing up, mostly in toy aisles in the midst of a tantrum. But it is true!

Life isn’t fair and it is not always fun. What life is – difficult and often painful.

I have never once claimed that my problems are greater or more significant than someone else’s.

No matter how big or small a problem may really be, it is important and stressful to the person experiencing it and is therefore significant. Whether it be a friend who had a hard drive go bad in a computer or experienced a death in the family – I show compassion.

Life is not fair and it is quite honestly painful at times.

I feel like people should have a pain and suffering quota, once you complete your quota you should get a little reprieve. I know…God doesn’t give you more than you can handle…but how much can I handle?

Apparently, I can handle seeing family member suffering with disease and dying, I can handle bearing children with chronic fatal illness, I can handle the day to day stress of trying to keep son in good health, I can handle and accept the fact that my family is complete with two children, that we will never easily conceive another healthy child without the help of modern medicine and expensive procedures.

Certain things have become way of life for us. The first hospital admission was a huge ordeal that turned our lives upside down…the second hospital admission not so much. It is almost like I’ve become numb to things such as PICC lines, anesthesia, blood draws, antibiotics (i am becoming my own personal copy of the Physicians Desk Reference), hospital admissions (I know only two hospital admission by age 4 is actually tremendous and for that I am extremely thankful). I can handle making changes in our lives just to survive, I can handle cars breaking down…I guess I CAN handle it all.

…and sorry, the English major inside of me should be incredibly ashamed…this is stream of conscious, I don’t really have a point, nothing I am typing is connected, there will most likely be spelling errors, so feel free to message me any mistakes you can find if you would like to kick me while I am down. Sorry that was uncalled for, especially since I am pretty much typing these thoughts to myself. I’ll be sure to message myself at a later date.

I feel a little better now.

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