I have
not been feeling myself lately and have been noticing a
trend...Debbie Downer.
I am sick of complaining, sick of typing my complaints, and sick of reading them as well. I refuse to let Debbie Downer succeed.
Really,
I am quite fortunate in many ways.
I am fortunate.I am. Nevertheless, I have dealt with my share of
stress, hardship, and loss. All of which have created me, the way I am today. I am a stronger individual now more than ever, however at times I am
mentally and emotional fragile.
I was
deeply and irreversibly damaged by my mother's recurring battle with
cancer that ultimately resulted in her death at the age of 50. I was 19, merely a college freshman leaving the safety and comfort of my home for the first time. This hurt, bad. It still hurts and the memories of these horrible years
linger vividly in my mind.
I watched her struggle for several years with the side effects of surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, medications, etc. I also watched her check into the hospital on Christmas after spending the entire day sleeping on the sofa. Less than 24 hours later I saw her her struggle to take her last breath without having the chance to say goodbye (
morphine ). I went to her funeral and returned back to school as if nothing had happened because
life goes on, right? I thought I had coped with it and moved on but for years it seemed like I was always
up and down.Bad thingsdo happento good people. Nevertheless my mother is
gone, never to return to earth. I have accepted the
goodbye for now until we meet again in Heaven. Then the rain stopped,
figuratively speaking. A few short months later I was married.
Life couldn't get any better, right? That very same summer I was diagnosed with Epstein-Barr Virus which is often linked to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
I slept. A lot. Another few short months later I became pregnant. Again, life couldn't get any better!
Then my world came crashing down upon me when Nathan was diagnosed with
Cystic Fibrosis after he was one month old. Actually my world
slowly began to crumble a few short days after he was born, when eyebrows were raising and testing for
CF began. I knew deep down inside of me that something was
not right.Does God want me to suffer and struggle indefinitely? Can't I just get a few breaks in my life?The ten day forecast in my area.
Hopefully this weather is not any indication of my week to come,emotionally speaking.Even if it is an indication, there is that one day without rain to look forward to. I need to remember that I am not the only one suffering, that there are a lot of bad things happening to good people like little
Jaxson who recently had surgery and needs our prayers. It also looks like
Marcy is going through a rough time, she could use some prayers too, don't you agree?
I will get through this rough period. I am going to overcome this and will be even stronger when I do. Maybe not overnight, but I will!
We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.
Really, I am quite fortunate in many ways. I am fortunate.I am. Nevertheless, I have dealt with my share of stress, hardship, and loss. All of which have created me, the way I am today. I am a stronger individual now more than ever, however at times I am mentally and emotional fragile.
I was deeply and irreversibly damaged by my mother's recurring battle with cancer that ultimately resulted in her death at the age of 50. I was 19, merely a college freshman leaving the safety and comfort of my home for the first time. This hurt, bad. It still hurts and the memories of these horrible years linger vividly in my mind.
I watched her struggle for several years with the side effects of surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, medications, etc. I also watched her check into the hospital on Christmas after spending the entire day sleeping on the sofa. Less than 24 hours later I saw her her struggle to take her last breath without having the chance to say goodbye ( morphine ). I went to her funeral and returned back to school as if nothing had happened because life goes on, right? I thought I had coped with it and moved on but for years it seemed like I was always up and down.
Bad thingsdo happento good people. Nevertheless my mother is gone, never to return to earth. I have accepted the goodbye for now until we meet again in Heaven. Then the rain stopped, figuratively speaking. A few short months later I was married. Life couldn't get any better, right? That very same summer I was diagnosed with Epstein-Barr Virus which is often linked to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I slept. A lot.
Another few short months later I became pregnant. Again, life couldn't get any better!
Then my world came crashing down upon me when Nathan was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis after he was one month old. Actually my world slowly began to crumble a few short days after he was born, when eyebrows were raising and testing for CF began. I knew deep down inside of me that something was not right.Does God want me to suffer and struggle indefinitely? Can't I just get a few breaks in my life?
The ten day forecast in my area.
Hopefully this weather is not any indication of my week to come,emotionally speaking.Even if it is an indication, there is that one day without rain to look forward to.
I need to remember that I am not the only one suffering, that there are a lot of bad things happening to good people like little Jaxson who recently had surgery and needs our prayers. It also looks like Marcy is going through a rough time, she could use some prayers too, don't you agree? I will get through this rough period. I am going to overcome this and will be even stronger when I do. Maybe not overnight, but I will!