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Excuses, excuses.

Posted Apr 14 2010 4:07pm
I've been thinking about the excuses I give to people to pass off for my crap hearing. The point being, that I obviously hate telling people the real reason why I didn't hear their name on the 4th attempt, b/c you know what people can be like - they'll either freak out or they'll treat you exactly the same as they ever did. Now, most people I know come from the latter group, but I do actually know a fair few people who have bolted when they find out; (whether it was the hearing or CF that did it, I'll not know for some people though) they either drift away, at a seriously alarming speed, or make up piss poor excuses.

Meh. I don't have time for people like that.

Anyway, my excuses are actually pretty crap. Like the time when I was in 6th form and the cute guy I was getting on well with on the bus asked me if I wanted to listen to his iPod. I had two choices: say yeah and do the not so dignifying thing of taking out my HAs in front of the poor sod, or say no and make up an excuse. I went for that choice, and my excuse was as crap as they come: 'Uh, nah, earphones give me a headache'.

What? The fuck?

I actually remember it well. The second I said that I swear he gave me a weird look and I got pissed at myself, thinking why I said that, of all reasons. It was really one of those times when you realise 'Ok, why did I just have to say that' the second after you say it. There's obviously been a lot of moments like that. A lot stick with you for a long time, if not forever, even if everyone else forgets them fairly quick.

I hate having to explain to someone, especially after they've tried to call me, that I can't and won't accept calls b/c I don't hear well on the phone. It's hard to explain. I can hear, I just can't understand what the person is saying. Most people buy the excuse of 'I just hate talking on the phone' and others are satisfied with the fact that I can't hear well over the phone, without me admitting I don't generally even hear well face to face either. When people ignore the fact I've said that they should only text me, and they still call me, I usually just throw my phone (literally, sometimes) at someone else to answer it.

When I don't care where I am, and when I'm with people who already know (like close friends or my family) and someone's talking too quietly for me to understand them, I'll probably say 'I can't hear you' and might sometimes say that I'm deaf. If someone else says it, it pisses me off when other people go 'Oh, Megan's deaf' b/c I don't want the entire fucking world to know, and other people don't seem to care who they tell. If it's someone who I'd never see again, I couldn't give a shit. But if it's someone who I do know, or will know, or whatever, I DO care if someone's going to fuck it all up and just blurt it out.

Most times it's better if people find out after they've known me - they're less likely to be weird about it b/c they already know me, and they're ok with my crap hearing. Knowing I'm actually deaf just gives more of a reason for it. It doesn't stop everyone freaking out, but it does work most of the time.
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