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Bruise like a peach.

Posted Aug 09 2010 5:03pm
What the hell?! I don't usually bruise. And I quite like it that way b/c of my general clumsy ness. It means I'm free to trip/fall/walk into things as much as I please. I don't want to have to start looking where I'm going.

Oh, I've been thinking about a second tattoo. Well, thinking, is more, yes I'm definitely gonna get one. I know where I want it (on the back of my shoulder, vertical in Chinese) but I'm not sure what I want it to say exactly. I was thinking of a cool quote but nothing stupidly long. Whilst I love tattoos I'd never get a huge one over my entire back or shoulder or something. As I haven't exactly completely thought through what I want, it's on hold. Hopefully I'll get it this year, there's still a fair few months left, but I can't get it until I think of something, and I don't want to get it whilst I'm on IVs, which I start on the 20th.

The 23rd is my needs assessment for DSA so I should be feeling and looking spectacularly crap in time for that. I have heard that they get really personal about asking what you can/can't do and Gem told me not to be surprised if I leave feeling crappy b/c of having to admit how awful I feel sometimes and having to say the limits you have on what you can/can't do. I'm kinda hoping that I'll be in the room on my own with whoevers grilling me for answers, aka, not with any parental units, as I don't like talking about how crap I feel in front of them.

I went to Scotland for the day on Sunday to see some family who are on holiday up there (so I never saw them on my birthday). They go to Portpatrick every year. We used to go there for a couple of weeks in the summer but don't anymore. So I've never been there with my camera. After sitting on the beach for ages, and taking random photos, I left on my own and walked along to a rocky place where you can just sit and watch the sea. I actually climbed up a bit of a hill (note: never do that again. Heights and slipping is bad enough, but doing that completely out of breath was a bit too much) and walked across an arch thing, so I could get to the rocks on the opposite side, which were deserted. I loved that. It's been so long since I could just listen to the sea, which I can now, properly thanks to my new HAs.

I took a lot of photos, as usual, and then endured the long 3ish hour drive home. Long day, but I still stayed online till about 3am for some reason. It's not that I'm not tired, it's just that I don't really fall asleep for ages so I don't see the point in trying to sleep and then lying there for hours. I'm not a fan of that cos I tend to over think stuff.

Ok this has been bugging me. I've half been considering not going to college in sept b/c I'm all sick of having to do the whole 'yeah I cough like a bitch b/c of CF, and I ignore you cos I'm deaf, not cos I hate you' thing. It's inevitable that it happens. You don't have to say that if they react badly then it makes them a prick, and how its my choice what to decide to tell people. Cos I know all this. And in fact it doesn't necessarily make people complete douchebags just b/c they act a bit strange. Sometimes they just don't know how to react. I've done the college thing, so I know what the tutors are like, I'm on really good terms with some of the staff and I know my way around campus. And everyone who was on my course I've just finished was fine with it. But the difference is, they were mostly adults (Saturday classes are the equivalent of night classes) and this 2 year foundation degree is more or less mostly gonna be 17-21 ish apparently. So I end up thinking back to the 6th form days when a fair few of my friends still didn't know what was up, and they found out. Everyone was cool with it but I really fucking hate the sympathy looks every time I cough. The last person I told was Conor, the other week. Funny, cos we've known each other for 6 years but he's never really known that it was actually CF or much about my hearing. We're classy people - it all got brought up in the pub and he was interested rather than backing off with a crucifix yelling 'BACK, DEMON!!' (not that that has actually happened, but whatever).

All the same, I just really hate having to explain it all, but at the same time, I want to b/c it stops people thinking I'm probably contagious or something. Here's hoping I don't just fuck it all up.
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