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Anybody have any DEET?

Posted Sep 12 2008 3:57am
Well, while the rest of the country was out eating BBQ and wearing white for the last time, I was diligently laboring (get it? labor day) to finish my book. I have set the deadline for tomorrow and it looks like I'll make it.

I can barely see straight right now so I don't have much to say about being excited, etc.

The self publishing thing is turning out to be a little more complicated than I thought. It's also a bit scary because I am responsible for properly formating the text. If I made a mistake, there's no one who will fix it. If there's a significant mistake, like a page break missing or something, my hard work will turn out looking goofy and unprofessional.

I still think I've made the best choice in self-publishing but it is a little intimidating to have so much responsibility in how the final product turns out.

I've pretty much gotten over my freak out/inferiority complex about Crazy Sexy Cancer. I think there's room for the both of us. Plus, my mission is more public speaking and hers seems more closely tied to her movie. She's awesome and I'm awesome in a different way.

That said, I am in a major doubt cycle. I go through these all the time, this is nothing new. I have come to understand and accept that I go through periods in which I think my work is boring, trite, poorly written...well, really the list could go on and on.

Usually this happens before I give a big talk so I guess it makes sense that I would be going through it the night before I send out my first book to be printed. All I know to do is keep walking forward and get the job done, despite all those circling doubts above my head. They really are like loud mosquitoes in my ear! Anybody have any DEET?

Is this kind of doubt something most of us experience when we're being creative or do I just have serious self-esteem issues?

If you have any tips on how to deal with the doubt mosquitoes, please share!!
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