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Troubled Relationships: The Warning Signs

Posted Jan 19 2009 1:26am


The day of love is right around the corner. Valentine’s Day. Yet, there seems to be an epidemic of troubled and failed relationships lately. Within my own circle of acquaintances, I am aware of 5 couples whose relationship has taken a nose dive into a sea of disaster. There were obvious signs that trouble was waiting in the wings but they were missed by the innocent, still hopelessly in love, partner. 

In an effort to keep others from being hit blindsided, I am listing the some of the following ”red flags” that should alert you that a relationship is in trouble.

  • Your significant other starts spending more time away supposedly at “work” or finds “hobbies” that allow plenty of time away from you.
  • Your significant other has less and less interest in going anywhere with you. This gives more time to be in touch with the other person.
  • Cell phone stays on vibrate whenever they are home.
  • Stays on the computer more than usual , and closes windows whenever you walk in the room.
  • Leaves home smelling like Dove soap and comes back smelling like Irish Spring. You don’t buy Irish Spring soap.
  • Becomes more interested in personal appearance and wardrobe. You start noticing changes in style, and even though they never cared before what their underwear looked like, now they do.
  • Starts working out,watching what they eat, and losing weight.
  • Becomes very guarded about their own personal vehicle which probably holds some personal items that they do not wish for you to see.
  • Time with “friends” becomes more important than time with you.
  • Becomes agitated easily and finds reasons to keep the relationship in turmoil. Most likely this is just part of a ploy to feel justified in their cheating behavior.
  • Becomes more guarded about spending habits. Might even get a separate checking account.
  • You start seeking comfort, understanding, and care from outside the relationship.
  • You start wondering what you ever saw in them in the first place.
  • There is less and less intimacy. Becomes less attentive overall.

If you notice the above signs then it’s time to take action. The appropriate action depends on what the relationship means to you and the extent of the damage already done. You might start by having a heart to heart talk with your significant other and seek counseling to save the relationship. If you feel the relationship is already too far gone, then cut your losses, and RUN. Time really does heal all wounds.


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