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Save Your Relationship ...

Posted Jan 14 2009 7:38pm

Save Your Relationship
by Dr. Brenda Shoshanna

Developing Authentic Peace of Mind

We all seek ways of becoming balanced and at peace. Unfortunately, most of the time the ease we discover is temporary. As soon as a new situation, or unwanted encounter arises, we are often thrown back into our familiar mode of upset and concern.

Authentic peace of mind, however, is unshakeable. No matter what changes appear in our world, we are able to welcome them. Authentic peace of mind is not based upon a series of ideas or beliefs, but is the very heart of who we truly are. When we live from this basis, not only our life but the lives of those around us unfold in all new wonderful ways.

The practices and principles of developing authentic peace of mind need to be experienced in your every day life. They exist as a path for you to walk on. As you do so, you will discover where your true happiness and well-being lay. A few steps are described below. Try them out, taste them and see what happens next.

Principles of Authentic Peace of Mind

A) "To straighten someone, do a harder thing, - first straighten yourself." The Buddha

When in contact with others, never attempt to change, improve or help them. Look at each person who comes as your teacher, as a gift you are receiving, which allows you to see another aspect of yourself. Rather than viewing a person as an object, see the ways in which you are similar, find the ways in which you can serve them.

Those who practice authentic peace of mind, do not assume the role of authority. Rather than become judge, jury, teacher or wise one, they relate naturally and join the other the person in their experience. By listening deeply not only do they honor the other, but simultaneously, let go of false ego and constrictedness.

"Who is wise? He who learns from others." Pier Ke Avot

B) Judge Everyone Favorably

Individuals absorb the ways in which we perceive them. When we feel hopeless about them, they feel it and tend to respond hopelessly. If, instead, we see their strength and beauty, not only they, but we too, are lifted into another vibration - of hope and strength.

What we pay attention to increases. The more we focus upon what is powerful and healthy in others, the more we will not only bring that out in them, but experience it in our own lives as well.

The practice of authentic peace of mind teaches us that when we see negativity in others, we must step back and realize this negativity is within ourselves. We do not project it onto them. No matter how great their disarray, each person contains great possibility. If we cannot see this, it is our problem, not theirs.

C) Forget About Dominating Anybody

"He was powerful, not because he dominated the scene, but because he was true." Buddha

It's easy to get trapped into the power game and unwittingly dominate others. Not only does this take true power from us, it destroys our ability to live with balance and peace. We do not have anyone's answers. By allowing others to give us their power, we are taking away their responsibility for their own lives and weakening them.

This is a very great trap. Don't fall in it.

Instead, take the many opportunities life provides to strip away lies, illusions and masks. As we become more humble and simple we then become fitting vessels for true peace of mind to enter our lives and be extended to others.

(This article is based upon Save Your Relationship (21 Laws of Successful Relationships)

To order, click here: Save Your Relationship
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