“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the cat. I don’t much care where…” said Alice. Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.” said the cat. Alice in Wonderland ~ Lewis Carroll
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." Albert Einstein
There are those that think that finding and moving towards a goal in life is the most important step to take towards a more fulfilling life. I don't want to decrease the importance of having goals; there is no doubt that they are an important step, but the actual fulfillment of those goals is more important. There is really no point to a goal when you are not moving towards it.
Today many people are setting goals for themselves, but how many are actually attaining those goals? How many of you are even starting towards your goals, even after setting them? I don't have any statistics, but I do know that when people set New Year's resolutions many of them don't even get off the starting block. Why is this? In my blog 'Creating Healthy Goals' - see Archive 2007) I made the following statement:
“Firstly, although New Year's Day represents for many people "a new beginning", it may not be the best time to actually make change. The best time to make change is when you are ready, not necessarily at a certain time of the year. Secondly, since most of our behaviours are unconscious habits, we need special tools to help us change those habits. Even though our behaviours are repetitive and unconscious, bringing awareness of our unwanted habits to our conscious mind does not necessarily mean that the behaviours will change automatically.”
In that article I went on to talk about how we are motivated by either moving away from something negative, or moving towards something positive. Now I want to take that idea to the next level. It's become clear to me, (thanks to my forward thinking teacher in the field of Neurolinguistic Psychology™ John Overdurf -www.johnoverdurf.com), that we cannot use the same energy or motivation to move somewhere different when it’s the same energy we have as when we have the problem. For example, if you feel stuck and cannot seem to motivate yourself to do something different whether it is exercise, diet, or some other a lifestyle change, then it may be because the energy that you are using to accomplish it is the same energy that created the problem in the first place! (See Einstein quote above) Being ‘in the problem’ (i.e. not being able to reach the goal) does not have enough positive charge or intensity to shift the problem to the outcome. In other words you must find an energy that is different from the energy you have now that is keeping you stuck.
How do you do that? Well, to start with you imagine yourself going out beyond the time when you have completed the goal! Sound odd? It is a little strange. After all, how can you get there when you haven’t reached the goal yet? Briefly it’s all in the way you think about it, and imagine it. Look at the diagram below and do the following:
a) See the goal from where you are now and notice how you feel. What is your energy like? b) Imagine yourself way out beyond the goal that you want. Really see yourself there, what you look like, what you are wearing, who else is there etc., even brighten up the picture and hear what you are saying to yourself. Then, in your mind’s eye, imagine floating up and out into the picture that you have just created (2) and get the energy you feel. In a way it is like imagining ‘living beyond the completed goal’. c) Now – come back to the present moment bringing the new energy with you and see the problem from a whole different perspective – (3)
It does take imagination to do this, and you may run into a few blocks along the way, and honestly it’s a little more complex than that. The point is that the energy you feel having been past the point of completing the goal, is the very same energy you need to get to where you want to go!
It is sometimes less than easy to do this on your own. You will know that you are there when you get the feeling you want, and it seems easy to take a small step towards the goal! In case you get stuck or are unsure of just exactly how to do this, I want to introduce you to my new coaching program. This program uses the unconscious mind to change old patterns and shift them automatically to new patterns using the above approach through HNLP™ (Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology). For more information go to my website at www.arfe.caand click on the Coaching tab.