"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves". Thomas Edison
A comment received from a blogging forum member stated that their self-esteem went down a few notches after moving to a new town. Another comments were that the level of self-esteem fluctuates and influenced by stress, successes, failures, relationships, bad days,challenges and so forth. All these are typical of self-esteem which cannot be taken for granted.
If we have a healthy self-esteem, we have to maintain it. If we don't, then we have to build it up. NASE - National Association for Self-Esteem was founded in 1986 with a mandate to fully integrate Self-Esteem into American Society. You can access them at www.self-esteem-nase.org/
Build up your self-esteem If you did a self-esteem test ( DiscoveryHealth or NASE has a simple one) and you have a score of 65 or 6.5, then the following suggestions would be beneficial.
1.Basic nurturing which include grooming, proper nutrition, exercise and adequate sleep.
2.Plan fun and relaxing activities for yourself.
3.Reward yourself for every little success and even if you feel you don't deserve it.
4.Forgive yourself for any mistakes,foil-ups,weakness and vulnerabilities.
When you begin to do the 4 suggestions above, you might feel you are worthy - well this is the time to put this principle into action - "Fake it till you make it"
5. Proper support from friends,i.e. tell them to let you vent without trying to fix your problem.
6. Use positive affirmations at least hourly. Have one line affirmations posted in the bedroom, so it is the first thing you see upon waking, and in the bathroom, kitchen, study, by your computer and anywhere you spend much of your time.
7.If you can't do any of the above as yet, then book an appointment with an appropriate therapist - NASE might give you some suggestions on that.
1. Use positive affirmations
2. Associate with positive, supportive friends.
3. Make a list of your past successes and place it where you can see it often.
4. Daily meditation.
5. Rebut your inner critic! Remember, Edison, Marconi,Bell, Wright Brothers, all had people who criticized and ridiculed them. Yet if any of those inventors had listened to their inner critic, we will not be enjoying now, what at that time seemed impossible!
You have to control or manage that inner voice that casts doubt, ridicule and belittles you. Believe me that is the most challenging part- you have to work at it daily, relentlessly and one day, you will find your inner voice cheering you on!
These are just some of the ways to build, boost and maintain your self-esteem. For more elaboration, please contact me for a private one to one support or coaching. Tomorrow we will conclude this series. Agapelife