It’s Monday morning, and I dreamed I was running last night. What a great dream! I don’t run, not with these knees. But when I woke up this morning, I decided that it was time to face the music and see how much weight I’ve gained. Since I lost nearly 60 pounds last year, I have been very busy this year putting it back on. At first, I rationalized that I was just maintaining the loss when I stopped losing because I stopped eating healthy and stopped moving. Then when I went back over the 300 mark, which I promised myself I would never do again, I tried to get serious, and I did get back down to 290 and kept hovering there, 7 pounds heavier than my lowest weight from last year. But then I threw all caution to the wind, and just started eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. I didn’t get back on the scale even though I feared I was close to 300. And yesterday, when I tried to button a jacket that fit me very comfortably last winter, I couldn’t even make it meet around my hips. I was really afraid of what the scale would show this morning, but after all, the scale only shows what my body already shows. It’s just a number, and I decided I might as well see what it is. So ready for the number? <drum roll> 310! And honestly, I thought it was going to be 315, and I was glad it was only 310. Broken my promise to myself? You betcha! After all, I can be my own worst enemy. But also, I can be my own best friend. And that’s what I have decided to be today.
I got out on this chilly 30 degree morning, and I walked for 15 minutes. I had to force myself to do that because my thighs and my knees and my back were aching, but I kept plugging on to my peppy music: Black Betty, Love Shack, and Love Machine. It helps to walk to the music. Without that, I wouldn’t have lasted more than 5 minutes. But that music is healing. So, 15 minutes isn’t much, but it’s a start. After all, you have to start where you are. But my goal is to make it up to 30 minutes every morning when it’s not raining. And if it rains, I’ll do something for 30 minutes inside. Every morning. Every single one.
And I’m going to eat healthy again. No more donuts or french fries. I can’t even believe I’ve been eating that junk, but I have. I ate a whole bag of Cheetos from Saturday night to Sunday night! So, today it’s lean meat, vegetables, and fruits. And I know that with that healthy eating and getting moving again, I will lose the 27 pounds that I have gained since my lowest weight of 283 last year. That’s my goal weightwise: 283. I’m not going to think past that. When I’m there, I’ll set another goal. Now, I’m just trying to get back to ground zero. As I said, you have to start where you are and in my case head to where you were.
Yes, I know. It’s Thanksgiving week. And I’m cooking a huge meal. And I’m making a cake and a pie, too, and I’m going to have some. But as my doctor once told me, Thanksgiving day is just one day. It doesn’t last months. My doctor is pretty smart. So, here’s what I predict: I will lose about 5 pounds pretty fast. I am purely spongy with water weight. So, I’ll probably be down to 305 by Wednesday. Wednesday while I cook and clean, I’ll probably maintain that 305 because I’ll be grazing as I cook, but the workout from cleaning will counteract that. Thanksgiving day I will get up to put the turkey in the oven early and then I’ll do my walking. I wonder if I can do 30 minutes by Thursday. I can certainly try. Then I’ll pig out on Thanksgiving, and I won’t feel a bit guilty about it. Then I’ll get up Friday morning and report my results here before I head out for my morning walk. This week won’t be a big dent in my weightloss, but it can be a big dent in my exercise goal, and it can be a big dent in my healthy eating (sans Thanksgiving day).
I’m glad my angel showed up this morning and told me to get on that scale and assess the damage. Of course, my devil was on the other shoulder trying to make me go back to bed for just a few more minutes and then to take off the coat and just forget it. And his best sales pitch was this: Don’t start this healthy stuff today. Wait until next week when Thanksgiving is over. And I said to him what my doctor said to me: “Thanksgiving only lasts one day. I have the other six days to be my own best friend.”