ClearLifeCarol's Posts

"So Don't Do That!" by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body There's an old Henny Youngman joke that I love: "I said to my doctor, it hurts when I do that [he lifts his arm]; he told me 'So don't do that!'" As a facilitator, my "Don't ... Read on »

Why Do We Blame Victims? by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body You hear it in New Age circles, therapy groups and arguments between "friends" (I've done it myself) all the time: "Stop being such a victim!" This stance smacks of a current ... Read on »

Why We Believe, Part 4: The "Dr. Phil" Question by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Sometimes we just love our beliefs because we are convinced they are working for us, evidence to the contrary. Let's look once again at the belief, "My husband shouldn't have ... Read on »

Why We Believe, Part 3: Unmet Needs, or a Tantrum? by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Our reasons (which are sometimes motives) for keeping a stressful belief can also be seen as a list of unmet needs: "I need to be right." "I need to be in control." "I need a ... Read on »

Why We Believe, Part 1: Are You Being Served? by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body In question number three of The Work of Byron Katie, "How do you react when you believe this thought?" we sometimes use a subquestion, "Why do you hold this (stressful) belie ... Read on »

Why We Believe: A New Series of Articles for Deepening Inquiry by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Those of you who receive my newsletter may have noticed my Clear Life Solutions tag line, "Open your mind to a limitless life." That is an invitation to something I, as a work ... Read on »

I Am Crabby, Resentful, Jealous, Self-pitying and Totally "I"-identified Today. Is That Okay with... by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body I wrote something similar to the title of this note as my Facebook status one day. The question was sort of a joke (and sort of not!), but actually it is a very good question! ... Read on »

The Julia In Our Heads by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body In case you've been living in a cave recently, let me bring you up to date on the bestselling book that inspired the current hit movie, Julie & Julia. It's the true story of J ... Read on »

Belieftown's Greatest Hits by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body I was just telling some friends that the other night while watching a PBS disco special (that is not a typo, my friends), I found myself singing along to all of the dance hits ... Read on »

Ask a Facilitator: Affirmations...Yes, or No? by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Q: I do The Work and I also practice daily positive affirmations because I really believe in their power to attract good things to life; for example, "I am perfect just the wa ... Read on »

A Subtle Difference and Sameness by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Existentialist: "There's nobody. There's nothing." Nondualist: "There's nobody! There's nothing!" It's just a matter of inflection. ©2009 by Carol L. Skolnick. All rights r ... Read on »

The (Wo)Man In the Mirror: Thanks, Michael by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place Take a look at yourself and then make a changeYou may also enjoy visiting our main webs ... Read on »

Ask a Facilitator: I Shouldn't be Thinking These Thoughts! by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Q: I love using The Work of Byron Katie. However, when I go into question three—"How do you react when you believe this thought?"—the array of underlying beliefs I carry shock ... Read on »

Addictions and Subtractions by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body I found and liked this definition of addiction on a coaching website: "...behavior that does not create lasting emotional satisfaction. From this broad perspective, addictive ... Read on »

Why I Don't Work on My "Ego" by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Satsang givers, teachers of nonduality and advaita, advocate what they call "the direct route," meaning go directly to the source. They ask, "Who am I? Who is it that thinks, ... Read on »

The Unfinished Line by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body (Note: at my workshops, I often use the metaphor of the loosening or loss of blinders as a result of inquiring into stressful beliefs.) The Unfinished Lineby Carol L. Skolnic ... Read on »

Deadly Shoulds: "If I do my best for them, they shouldn't criticize me." by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body "If I do my best for them, they shouldn't criticize me."Is it true they shouldn't criticize me? Especially since I've done what they wanted, worked hard to live up to everyone ... Read on »

Deadly Shoulds: "If I work hard to please them, they'll like me." by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body Are you a people-pleaser? What is your motive? Do you believe that people should like you if you work hard to please them? I found this core belief for myself: "If I work har ... Read on »

Deadly Shoulds: "She should appreciate me for what I do for her." by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body (Note: This particular "she," while sparked by a recent incident, could fit any number of people in my life, past and present.) "She should appreciate me for what I do for he ... Read on »

Question the "Seven Deadly Shoulds" by ClearLifeCarol Patient Expert

Posted in: Blog Posts in Mind-Body My friend Glenn alerted me to this wonderful list of beliefs from the book The Disease to Please by Dr. Harriet Braiker—a book about the addiction to approval. "The Seven Dead ... Read on »

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