“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you: He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)
Recently I went to a new pain doctor and he read and listened to my long list of ailments and condition. Then he said that by looking at all that information, as well as the pain and symptoms that I have, he felt that I probably could now include fibromyalgia to my list of conditions. Although I had already suspected this, it is completely different to hear the words said out loud by someone else, especially one with a medical degree.
Even though it didn’t change any of the symptoms or even the prognosis and treatment that he was recommending, it was yet another strain on my already frazzled mind and body. I was overwhelmed and couldn’t help but think Are you listening, Lord? Did you catch that? Things are not improving, they are getting worse!
In my heart I knew that He did hear and see all that was occurring and I knew that He also had gone before me, preparing the way.
I continued to think back again the next day, after reading yet another verse, Psalms 139:23-24 “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”
I thought, God am I really willing to let you test me? Am I open to your correction, do being submissive to your plan? I thought back to all the times He has heard and answered my prayers, they were not always the answers I desired.
Some were really tough, like when I was told I had cancer. My only thought was, But God, you told me to go to Guyana on a mission trip! Even the doctors said yes! But God had another mission for me that year–a much larger one. I was given the blessing of talking, encouraging and ministering to others as we all sat in chairs hooked up to our IV’s receiving our chemo treatments.
So as I reflected on this new diagnosis, I realized that I was trying to implement my own plan, my own desires above His. I realized that he had been with me at the pain doctors office, just as he had with every other appointment or hospital stay, He sat next to me, gently patting my hand, whispering as He does in that still small voice, “Don’t be afraid, or discouraged, I’m in control.”
Prayer: Lord, as I begin each day let me put aside the feelings of being overwhelmed and be reminded that You are going ahead of me; that nothing that I endure comes as a surprise to You. Forgive me when I put my own plan above Your own, and let me respond with Christ–where my endurance comes from. Amen.
About the author
Diane Kalata is a Floridian who is the mother of three grown children. Her husband encourages her, both physically and spiritually. She is a 4-year colon cancer survivor and she suffers from IBS, sphincter ODI syndrome, chronic pain, and chronic fatigue. She currently teaches a women’s bible study, and leads a chronic illness support group, to offer Christ-centered illness support. She also goes on mission trips in the summer when God allows.
How about you? Are you feeling overwhelmed at the illness, pain or circumstance you must endure? Do you ever feel that adding one more thing to your existing condition will be your breaking point? How are you dealing with that situation, and what has God showed you?
Feeling overwhelmed? I love this song, “He is Concerned About You” with Cece Winans. If you are feeling sad, frustrated, even that God is not is not watching over you, this video will be a joyful reminder that God loves you –and is concerned about you too. -Lisa