Have you had the experience of one doctor passing you off to another, and that one to another, and no one really wanting to “own” you as a patient? For a while I have felt I was the ball in a game of ping pong between my general practitioner and a specialist, each telling me to see the other. Currently, as new issues develop, I have become a “hot potato.” My question is, what do you do to get doctors to listen and stop passing the buck?
I am looking for suggestions beyond basics of talking to doctors. One thing I am finding helpful lately is to pray earnestly and specifically for the appointment and the agenda to discuss with that doctor. I am at least finding each appointment a little less frustrating, and maybe a little more helpful.
Marianne
Hi, Marianne. Yes, this can be very frustrating and I think most patients have felt this way at one time or another. My suggestions would be to try the following:
I have had a good medical team for some time now, but I’ve also had my share of doctors who have not particularly liked me. At wound care, I had one doctor who casually said they would “just take a little piece of bone out of my ankle and. . . ”
At this point, I said, “With all due respect, I understand you are doing your job. But with rheumatoid arthritis that could disable my ankle for good. Dr. Y is my rheumatologist, and I won’t be having any procedures done until you run them past her, she approves them, and I have an opportunity to talk with her.” He was not happy with me and did not like me questioning his authority. He especially didn’t like having to admit to me a few days later later that he’d talk to my rhematologist and I would not be having the procedure.
On the flip side, I also left my son’s pediatrician and got a recommendation from a children’s therapist for another pediatrician. In less than 30 minutes, the new pediatrician had us appointments at Children’s Hospital, a psychiatrist (who was not accepting new patients), a and many more specialists who helped us solve a difficult case involving food therapy. We felt so relieved.
Last year my rheumatologist of ten+ years was rather rude and I left the office in tears–a rare event. I have found that many good doctors still have a “season” of being motivated to treat you. For me this seems to be 8-10 years. And despite a good relationship, I do expect to be treated with respect. I found a new rheumatologist and am pleased with what he has been able to do for me, the medications he is willing to try, and his experience in using both Western medicine as well as herbs, etc. when possible.
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop .
Have you had the experience of one doctor passing you off to another, and that one to another, and no one really wanting to “own” you as a patient? For a while I have felt I was the ball in a game of ping pong between my general practitioner and a specialist, each telling me to see the other. Currently, as new issues develop, I have become a “hot potato.” My question is, what do you do to get doctors to listen and stop passing the buck?
I am looking for suggestions beyond basics of talking to doctors. One thing I am finding helpful lately is to pray earnestly and specifically for the appointment and the agenda to discuss with that doctor. I am at least finding each appointment a little less frustrating, and maybe a little more helpful.
Marianne
Hi, Marianne. Yes, this can be very frustrating and I think most patients have felt this way at one time or another. My suggestions would be to try the following:
I have had a good medical team for some time now, but I’ve also had my share of doctors who have not particularly liked me. At wound care, I had one doctor who casually said they would “just take a little piece of bone out of my ankle and. . . ”
At this point, I said, “With all due respect, I understand you are doing your job. But with rheumatoid arthritis that could disable my ankle for good. Dr. Y is my rheumatologist, and I won’t be having any procedures done until you run them past her, she approves them, and I have an opportunity to talk with her.” He was not happy with me and did not like me questioning his authority. He especially didn’t like having to admit to me a few days later later that he’d talk to my rhematologist and I would not be having the procedure.
On the flip side, I also left my son’s pediatrician and got a recommendation from a children’s therapist for another pediatrician. In less than 30 minutes, the new pediatrician had us appointments at Children’s Hospital, a psychiatrist (who was not accepting new patients), a and many more specialists who helped us solve a difficult case involving food therapy. We felt so relieved.
Last year my rheumatologist of ten+ years was rather rude and I left the office in tears–a rare event. I have found that many good doctors still have a “season” of being motivated to treat you. For me this seems to be 8-10 years. And despite a good relationship, I do expect to be treated with respect. I found a new rheumatologist and am pleased with what he has been able to do for me, the medications he is willing to try, and his experience in using both Western medicine as well as herbs, etc. when possible.
Lisa Copen is the founder of Rest Ministries and she lives in San Diego with her husband and son. She is gradually learning how to balance motherhood, family, illness, and ministry, but she still knows it will be a lifetime lesson. You can see the books she has written, including, Why Can’t I Make People Understand? at the Rest Ministries shop .