This is a long one, written a few years ago...I feel it still is something to be aware of in your travels through life.....and it really did happen to me.
Light's Out
I have never been an easy target for snake-oil types, whether they are a fast-talking salesperson, an over flattering potential love interest, or a flash-in-the-pan charismatic pop icon promising self-discovery for the price of a book, tape, or workshop. Unfortunately, and due to a slip in my ever-so-vigilant eye toward these mostly forgettable types, I had the displeasure of engaging with one such quasi-spiritual guru wannabee. To her credit, if you want to call it that, she has done a brilliant job of attracting hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting, desperate human beings from all over the planet who are all too willing to part with their hard-earned money for a bit of her wisdom. This particular guru, who considers herself to be a medical “intuit”, goes by the name of Cathryn Mistical (CM). After receiving an email from her in response to a question I posed, I understand why it’s hard not to fall victim to this particular opiate of the masses.
Like any other dyed-in-the-wool flim-flam artist, CM’s’ books, tapes, and endless lecture stops are designed to make millions from often-desperate people in need of hope, help and a little old fashioned attention. Her mystical-looking website, complete with “God’s waiting-room” music and soft, peaceful looking colors, is filled with a dizzying number of links to keep followers in carefully manufactured awe. And her “personal voyage” program gives readers a chance to describe their own “voyage”, as she has divined it, providing of course, her name is mentioned throughout in a canonizing sort of way.
I’m sure she’s helped some people. Statistically speaking, she would have to have a “hit” at least once in a while, given the millions who would sell their souls to be in her presence, cyber or otherwise. Call me crazy, but causing further hurt to even one person (and not apologizing for it) in real pain does not make up for whatever help others claim to have received from her profundity.
There isn’t anything particularly inventive about CM’s approach, though there seems to be no lack of anxious followers. Certainly, buying a few books written by someone who may offer potential answers to a few of life’s questions is understandable. But putting a human being on a pedestal is a grave error, and unfortunately, I slipped for a precious few days and got a harsh reminder of that fact.
Many of these self-proclaimed parsons of the unknown, who allege the ability to intuit illness, heal the sick and help anyone searching for meaning by offering to lead them to the waters of self-discovery, are profoundly self-centered. Not all, but many, and that behavior is quite the opposite of what they preach. It is a shameful game, designed to make one person wealthy: the preacher. Giving CM the benefit of the doubt for a nano-second, I’m thinking she didn’t start out that way. But oh, what a little serious green can do!!
Certainly, there are millions of successful people on the planet, some of which are true healers, who haven’t forgotten their humanity. But the CM’s of the world are truculent in believing that those who seek their guidance are incapable of helping themselves. Of course, they must write or speak in a way that will not offend or hint at this belief. That might be construed as degrading, and the most crucial part of this game is to appear genuine, at all costs. After all, to look in genuine would expose them for what they are: Svengali-like stealers of souls, promising everything, delivering nothing. The real tragedy, of course, is that most people anxious to gain insight and get help are truly hurting, sincerely thirsty for someone or something useful.
What they get, or at least what I got, was quite different, and while I am indeed responsible for responding to the enticing offer CM made, I was still hurt by what transpired. Thankfully, I was also quite able to see that the problem was with her, not me.
But many people believe every last word they read or hear from these duplicitous imposters of the divine, drinking in their nectar of the unknown, hoping some of it will rub off on them. Sadly, when one is ill, and especially if pain is involved, the ability to see through this veil of promises thins. Understand, I mean no disrespect toward the seeking. It’s human nature to search for answers to the unknown. I certainly do. And with so many hurting at any given time, the abundance of people like CM appears to be ceaseless.
When thousands come rushing to someone for help, that person often starts to believe they are omnipotent, unable to err, unable to give bad advice or hurt someone who reaches out for guidance. And folly of follies, they are quite incapable of hearing anything that even hints at criticism. Much easier to write the critics off then to deal with it in a meaningful way. The heartbreak, when it comes to any human opiate of the masses, is that the people in need feel they have no personal power. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have always believed that every living being has the spark of divinity within them (yeah, she slings that line, but like hash). And while there are some true mystics in the world and religions full of spirituality that is very real indeed, one must be careful to stay away from those who exploit it. Although CM claims to be a medical “intuit,” try as I might, I fall short of understanding her version of what she claims to be versus mystic, guru, or whatever label you want to give it.
The majority of these folks get so caught up in their own success that they do the antithesis of what they preach: loving-kindness. While I understand what it’s like to want answers to life’s questions, we need to be careful of those whose “insights” have the price tag of a home loan. And there are other costs. Mine was the hurt that came from being lied to, and then chastised for pointing it out. You’d think someone who claims to have the power of intuition (we all do, by the way) would be the tiniest bit concerned about hurting someone.
It began quite simply, really. I accidentally stumbled across a book (it was headed for the dump — in retrospect, I should have let it continue on it’s journey) written by CM, and after reading it, decided to email her a question. I explained a little about the medical challenges I was born with, which cause horrific pain all day, every day. Like others who write about illness, she only addressed how we “attract disease” and never wrote about birth defects. So my question was about people born with disease. To my shock, I received an incredibly heartfelt response from her. My instincts told me it was a tad over the top, but still…
Promising hope and prayers, she offered to post “my voyage” for the very next month, and never hinted that it might not be used, although I’m guessing hundreds of people must make the request every month. However, since they asked me (CM’s assistant actually phoned me promising “this will change your life, trust me”), I figured it was a done deal.
Now, not being a “follower,” I failed to canonize her as part of “my voyage.” I went back in the archives and read other “voyage” stories and they all included exuberant expressions of gratitude and servitude. I had a sinking feeling that might be the deal-breaker. But CM had nothing to do with “my voyage” and lying wouldn’t have been what she wanted! Right? Wrong.
After five, yes five requests (by email) to CM’s assistant offering editorial help, I gave up trying to contact them and decided to trust that it would happen.
My story would surely appear!! After all, they had asked me to send it immediately, for the next months “voyage” story, with nary a hint that it might not be used! SHE WAS CM! She would keep her word!
When someone’s story appeared, my stomach lurched and my world momentarily fell out from under me. The spell had been jarringly broken. And so had my heart. When someone in a position of power offers you “hope and prayers,” it’s quite easy to fall prey to them. I had been willing to put myself in an exposed position with someone who was thoughtless and engaged with too many things to bother with a promise to me. And it wasn’t just the broken promise. It was the lack of follow-through. The ignored emails. The unreturned calls.
Admittedly, in the back of my mind I had smelled a rat from the get-go. But I pushed the thought aside, wanting with all my heart to believe that this was real. Someone was going to post my story where thousands of people would read and respond with much needed prayers! In fact, when “Mark” called after that first email, he said, and I quote “I wouldn’t be surprised if 95,000 people responded!!”
Now that, I knew, was hyperbole. Still, he was very charming, very convincing, and very firm about me sending my story immediately for the next months’ issue.
So, when it didn’t appear, I wrote CM telling her I felt hurt, dismissed, ignored and generally, disregarded.
She responded, lashing out at me in a way that again, is the opposite of what she preaches. She called me angry and inappropriate. Huh?
Re-reading my letter, I wondered why she couldn’t see that she hurt me. Short of going to her in person with my heart in my hand, weeping copiously, I had done everything to tell her how I felt. So much for her ability to “intuit.” I told her I was hurt and she still didn’t get it. I asked respectfully that she not send people emails like that and then not follow through.
But that giant ego, the one she would like us to think she has shed, had been pricked. So she turned on me, instead of apologizing for dropping the ball. What a guru!
Unbelievably, she also stated that she “had been planning” to use my letter for the next month, but given how I felt about her, she would not be doing so. That was so blatantly ridiculous, I had to laugh. I hadn’t seen people reduced to that level of sophomoric communication since, well, my sophomore year in high school! Na na na na boo boo and all that. She kept telling me her email was genuine, even though she had given with one hand and taken away with the other. Considering her intuitive prowess, why couldn’t she admit she goofed? And given what she wrote, I’m left wondering if her self-confidence, in spite of her success, is immeasurably low. What other reason would she harp about how “genuine” her response was to me? Protesting too much, perhaps?
She posed some questions which I tried to answer in a follow-up email (“Why are you so angry? Couldn’t you have just emailed me with your questions?”) but never heard back. Those previous five emails weren’t enough? Perhaps I should have sent a messenger holding brightly colored balloons. Still, I wanted to give her the respect of trying to answer, even though no such respect was given to me. You see it’s how I am in the world that matters, and I keep my word or explain why I can’t. My best guess is that she deleted it without opening it. She’s CM. She has better things to do. After all, I had challenged her values and beliefs and reading my responses to her questions might mean she was wrong, which would be completely unacceptable. Some people just can’t be wrong, no matter the cost.
And in the case of people who don’t know that it’s her, not them, the cost is human suffering.
But what the heck, she has plenty of true believers that would follow her to the ends of the earth. That’s all the proof she needs. So what if a few thousand people get trampled on along the way? So what if she breaks her word without any explanation? She’s CM!!! She will be forgiven.
For me, it’s enough to know that the real truth, the real power, is in all of us, not just a chosen few. Thankfully, there are a relatively small number of people who are charismatic enough to garner the attention, hopes and dreams of the masses. Hitler did. I’m not saying she’s like Hitler. But the charismatic falseness is the other side of the same coin.
Misusing a position of power is nothing new. But it still hurts. I reached out to CM, expressing a concern, and got a thoughtful reply that was suppose to “change my life.” Then she dropped the ball and turned it around on me when I expressed my concerns. No doubt, this wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last.
But I have seen the light, and it is not
I have never been an easy target for snake-oil types, whether they are a fast-talking salesperson, an over flattering potential love interest, or a flash-in-the-pan charismatic pop icon promising self-discovery for the price of a book, tape, or workshop. Unfortunately, and due to a slip in my ever-so-vigilant eye toward these mostly forgettable types, I had the displeasure of engaging with one such quasi-spiritual guru wannabee. To her credit, if you want to call it that, she has done a brilliant job of attracting hundreds of thousands of unsuspecting, desperate human beings from all over the planet who are all too willing to part with their hard-earned money for a bit of her wisdom. This particular guru, who considers herself to be a medical “intuit”, goes by the name of Cathryn Mistical (CM). After receiving an email from her in response to a question I posed, I understand why it’s hard not to fall victim to this particular opiate of the masses.
Like any other dyed-in-the-wool flim-flam artist, CM’s’ books, tapes, and endless lecture stops are designed to make millions from often-desperate people in need of hope, help and a little old fashioned attention. Her mystical-looking website, complete with “God’s waiting-room” music and soft, peaceful looking colors, is filled with a dizzying number of links to keep followers in carefully manufactured awe. And her “personal voyage” program gives readers a chance to describe their own “voyage”, as she has divined it, providing of course, her name is mentioned throughout in a canonizing sort of way.
I’m sure she’s helped some people. Statistically speaking, she would have to have a “hit” at least once in a while, given the millions who would sell their souls to be in her presence, cyber or otherwise. Call me crazy, but causing further hurt to even one person (and not apologizing for it) in real pain does not make up for whatever help others claim to have received from her profundity.
There isn’t anything particularly inventive about CM’s approach, though there seems to be no lack of anxious followers. Certainly, buying a few books written by someone who may offer potential answers to a few of life’s questions is understandable. But putting a human being on a pedestal is a grave error, and unfortunately, I slipped for a precious few days and got a harsh reminder of that fact.
Many of these self-proclaimed parsons of the unknown, who allege the ability to intuit illness, heal the sick and help anyone searching for meaning by offering to lead them to the waters of self-discovery, are profoundly self-centered. Not all, but many, and that behavior is quite the opposite of what they preach. It is a shameful game, designed to make one person wealthy: the preacher. Giving CM the benefit of the doubt for a nano-second, I’m thinking she didn’t start out that way. But oh, what a little serious green can do!!
Certainly, there are millions of successful people on the planet, some of which are true healers, who haven’t forgotten their humanity. But the CM’s of the world are truculent in believing that those who seek their guidance are incapable of helping themselves. Of course, they must write or speak in a way that will not offend or hint at this belief. That might be construed as degrading, and the most crucial part of this game is to appear genuine, at all costs. After all, to look in genuine would expose them for what they are: Svengali-like stealers of souls, promising everything, delivering nothing. The real tragedy, of course, is that most people anxious to gain insight and get help are truly hurting, sincerely thirsty for someone or something useful.
What they get, or at least what I got, was quite different, and while I am indeed responsible for responding to the enticing offer CM made, I was still hurt by what transpired. Thankfully, I was also quite able to see that the problem was with her, not me.
But many people believe every last word they read or hear from these duplicitous imposters of the divine, drinking in their nectar of the unknown, hoping some of it will rub off on them. Sadly, when one is ill, and especially if pain is involved, the ability to see through this veil of promises thins. Understand, I mean no disrespect toward the seeking. It’s human nature to search for answers to the unknown. I certainly do. And with so many hurting at any given time, the abundance of people like CM appears to be ceaseless.
When thousands come rushing to someone for help, that person often starts to believe they are omnipotent, unable to err, unable to give bad advice or hurt someone who reaches out for guidance. And folly of follies, they are quite incapable of hearing anything that even hints at criticism. Much easier to write the critics off then to deal with it in a meaningful way. The heartbreak, when it comes to any human opiate of the masses, is that the people in need feel they have no personal power. Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have always believed that every living being has the spark of divinity within them (yeah, she slings that line, but like hash). And while there are some true mystics in the world and religions full of spirituality that is very real indeed, one must be careful to stay away from those who exploit it. Although CM claims to be a medical “intuit,” try as I might, I fall short of understanding her version of what she claims to be versus mystic, guru, or whatever label you want to give it.
The majority of these folks get so caught up in their own success that they do the antithesis of what they preach: loving-kindness. While I understand what it’s like to want answers to life’s questions, we need to be careful of those whose “insights” have the price tag of a home loan. And there are other costs. Mine was the hurt that came from being lied to, and then chastised for pointing it out. You’d think someone who claims to have the power of intuition (we all do, by the way) would be the tiniest bit concerned about hurting someone.
It began quite simply, really. I accidentally stumbled across a book (it was headed for the dump — in retrospect, I should have let it continue on it’s journey) written by CM, and after reading it, decided to email her a question. I explained a little about the medical challenges I was born with, which cause horrific pain all day, every day. Like others who write about illness, she only addressed how we “attract disease” and never wrote about birth defects. So my question was about people born with disease. To my shock, I received an incredibly heartfelt response from her. My instincts told me it was a tad over the top, but still…
Promising hope and prayers, she offered to post “my voyage” for the very next month, and never hinted that it might not be used, although I’m guessing hundreds of people must make the request every month. However, since they asked me (CM’s assistant actually phoned me promising “this will change your life, trust me”), I figured it was a done deal.
Now, not being a “follower,” I failed to canonize her as part of “my voyage.” I went back in the archives and read other “voyage” stories and they all included exuberant expressions of gratitude and servitude. I had a sinking feeling that might be the deal-breaker. But CM had nothing to do with “my voyage” and lying wouldn’t have been what she wanted! Right? Wrong.
After five, yes five requests (by email) to CM’s assistant offering editorial help, I gave up trying to contact them and decided to trust that it would happen.
My story would surely appear!! After all, they had asked me to send it immediately, for the next months “voyage” story, with nary a hint that it might not be used! SHE WAS CM! She would keep her word!
When someone’s story appeared, my stomach lurched and my world momentarily fell out from under me. The spell had been jarringly broken. And so had my heart. When someone in a position of power offers you “hope and prayers,” it’s quite easy to fall prey to them. I had been willing to put myself in an exposed position with someone who was thoughtless and engaged with too many things to bother with a promise to me. And it wasn’t just the broken promise. It was the lack of follow-through. The ignored emails. The unreturned calls.
Admittedly, in the back of my mind I had smelled a rat from the get-go. But I pushed the thought aside, wanting with all my heart to believe that this was real. Someone was going to post my story where thousands of people would read and respond with much needed prayers! In fact, when “Mark” called after that first email, he said, and I quote “I wouldn’t be surprised if 95,000 people responded!!”
Now that, I knew, was hyperbole. Still, he was very charming, very convincing, and very firm about me sending my story immediately for the next months’ issue.
So, when it didn’t appear, I wrote CM telling her I felt hurt, dismissed, ignored and generally, disregarded.
She responded, lashing out at me in a way that again, is the opposite of what she preaches. She called me angry and inappropriate. Huh?
Re-reading my letter, I wondered why she couldn’t see that she hurt me. Short of going to her in person with my heart in my hand, weeping copiously, I had done everything to tell her how I felt. So much for her ability to “intuit.” I told her I was hurt and she still didn’t get it. I asked respectfully that she not send people emails like that and then not follow through.
But that giant ego, the one she would like us to think she has shed, had been pricked. So she turned on me, instead of apologizing for dropping the ball. What a guru!
Unbelievably, she also stated that she “had been planning” to use my letter for the next month, but given how I felt about her, she would not be doing so. That was so blatantly ridiculous, I had to laugh. I hadn’t seen people reduced to that level of sophomoric communication since, well, my sophomore year in high school! Na na na na boo boo and all that. She kept telling me her email was genuine, even though she had given with one hand and taken away with the other. Considering her intuitive prowess, why couldn’t she admit she goofed? And given what she wrote, I’m left wondering if her self-confidence, in spite of her success, is immeasurably low. What other reason would she harp about how “genuine” her response was to me? Protesting too much, perhaps?
She posed some questions which I tried to answer in a follow-up email (“Why are you so angry? Couldn’t you have just emailed me with your questions?”) but never heard back. Those previous five emails weren’t enough? Perhaps I should have sent a messenger holding brightly colored balloons. Still, I wanted to give her the respect of trying to answer, even though no such respect was given to me. You see it’s how I am in the world that matters, and I keep my word or explain why I can’t. My best guess is that she deleted it without opening it. She’s CM. She has better things to do. After all, I had challenged her values and beliefs and reading my responses to her questions might mean she was wrong, which would be completely unacceptable. Some people just can’t be wrong, no matter the cost.
And in the case of people who don’t know that it’s her, not them, the cost is human suffering.
But what the heck, she has plenty of true believers that would follow her to the ends of the earth. That’s all the proof she needs. So what if a few thousand people get trampled on along the way? So what if she breaks her word without any explanation? She’s CM!!! She will be forgiven.
For me, it’s enough to know that the real truth, the real power, is in all of us, not just a chosen few. Thankfully, there are a relatively small number of people who are charismatic enough to garner the attention, hopes and dreams of the masses. Hitler did. I’m not saying she’s like Hitler. But the charismatic falseness is the other side of the same coin.
Misusing a position of power is nothing new. But it still hurts. I reached out to CM, expressing a concern, and got a thoughtful reply that was suppose to “change my life.” Then she dropped the ball and turned it around on me when I expressed my concerns. No doubt, this wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last.
But I have seen the light, and it is not