Two u-turns in two days…oh,the unpredictability of debilitating chronic conditions and the disappointment they cause, not only for me but for those I love and care about. The past two days I have tried to get out of the house with my daughter for lattes and shopping and had to cut both exertions short due to Gastroparesis sudden attacks. These attacks consume me and cannot be walked through, talked through…but quite easily moaned and groaned through. The only option my daughter has is to makes a u-turn and drive her sweat dripping, stomach holding, moaning and groaning mom straight home.
I remember when the kids were little and I’d start a day feeling pretty well–well enough to take them to a toy store. Filled with excitement, they’d get dressed and ready. Too often when they’d come running down the stairs ready to take to the garage and jump in the car, they’d find me horizontal, and apologizing for suddenly being unable to stand up, let alone make it to a toy store.
Ouch, my heart would hurt as I watched disappointment spread across their adorable faces. They learned to accept too much disappointment too early. (There is a silver-lining though–we all love when we can carry out our plans and never take for granted a “normalish” outing together.)
My daughter is eighteen now and old enough to drive anywhere she wants–thank goodness! It doesn’t stop the disappointment of the blowing up of our plans, but it cuts it a bit. Her and a friend are now out shopping, hopefully treating themselves to the iced coffee drinks we her and I planned to indulge in (mine without the coffee).
Today’s GP attack has calmed down and (knock on wood) has not turned into the monster it did yesterday. I am thankful for that…but hungry. To avoid the monster symptoms of Gastroparesis, you can’t eat. I just realized, I have the TV set to the Food Network. What an interesting thing the subconscious is. Am I eating with my eyes?… hmmm…
U-turn stories welcome–I know most of us with chronic unpredictable conditions have a slew of them.