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The fragile and unpredictable nature of recovery

Posted Jun 19 2009 5:42pm
My lovely daughter came to stay for a couple of days. We had nice food and a quiet time. I kept to my resting routine and was absolutely fine. Then, yesterday morning, I skipped a rest and walked the dog while lovely daughter packed to leave. I started to crash as I returned to the house. I was getting slower and slower.

After lovely daughter left I rested, hoping I might bounce back. But I was horizontal pretty much the rest of the day. I struggled out in the evening to slimming club and wanted to stay to the meeting, but common sense prevailed. I didn't sleep particularly well and my ears are singing and my head aches this morning.

I've got the self-examination blues. Is it a good thing the post-exertional malaise happened straight away? Or was the crash the result of a walk on the beach two days ago? Is this headache going to get worse? Is my candida back?

Nothing ever seems to stay the same. Recovery is so fragile and unpredictable. I did read somewhere that people with CFS should do any exercise in the afternoon as PEM is worse after morning activity. Maybe I just proved it to myself. I suppose one thing stays predictable, and that's my expectation I can skip rests without the consequences. Do the same thing, as they say, and the same thing keeps happening.

I have to gird my loins for the day now. I'm helping the Museum with an educational quiz and have a meeting this morning. I think it will be a short one. They know about my CFS and are happy to work around me. One of the joys of volunteering is people are respectful and grateful for your help. That wasn't my experience of employment with undiagnosed CFS. But that is a whole other post.

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