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The Evolution of Hope

Posted Apr 23 2013 12:00am
Hey People,

Yes, it occurs; hope evolves, somewhere in the background of the mind. Yet, this transformation seems integrally related to the outside world too. And lets not leave out the soul, that which gets sucked out into the abyss along with your very being when you get sick––a vacuum sickness kindly obliges to fill.

What sparks such growth? And what causes the hope to degenerate in the first place? I think it all comes down to understanding. Once you have that, then you have a torch guiding you forward, holding your hand. The lack of this vital element plays an important part in the dissolution of hope. It is my belief that understanding eclipses love as one of the top things that humans require to be happy. The beetles sang, “Love is all you need”, it should have been “Understanding is all you need”.

Lets zoom in a little on this understanding. It seems to reside from the same area as commonality; they have similar needs and roles to play in that fuzzy little word: hope! This is why, so often, we see people like myself feeling compelled to take to the World Wide Web, in search of ‘an other’. Nobody wants to be an alien. So without knowing the initial reasons for it, off we go in search of understanding and commonality, as if it were hopes only source of oxygen. It’s not hard to find an-other out there. Many others! And it helps, a lot. That understanding. That commonality. Yet, it doesn’t seem to settle hopes insatiable appetite. What it really desires is understanding that’s a bit closer to home. From family and friends, of course, if you’re lucky. But lets face it, it’s those men in those white coats that can really fill the vacuum. This has been the case with me.

It ain’t that easy. Nope, sorry. It’s a gradual process. I liken getting sick with an illness like mine and the hope that gets stolen from you due to such a messy entangled affair, to one of those balls made up of elastic bands. The bands are all the crap that get flicked at you from life: the symptoms, the depression, the negative doctors, the negative perceptions, the loss of friends, the loss of work, hobbies, the loss of you… That big ball, that’s you when you are in the darkest part of it. Your hope is lost somewhere underneath that pile-on of suffering. It hurts. When I met a doctor that was understanding some of those elastic bands started to shed. And treatment… When that word was mentioned a few of those elastic bands fell off at once! You get lulls of course, long ones. But once my treatment started to work, my god, that ball became smaller and smaller, my hope had more and more oxygen to breath and my soul inhabited my body once again.

The ball is now half the size I reckon, but there is so much more air and lightness. Hope expands through the gaps and delights in everything it sees! Inspiration comes out to play with hope. Hope falls back in love with life! And hope and I, we dance here, we dance there, we are the best of friends. We even sleep together (Shhhh…Don’t tell my husband). Once that hope starts getting stronger it probably becomes the most important medicine you require. Without hope, you merely exist. Hope needs understanding. Don’t beat yourself up if your hope is buried and you can’t find it. It’s not that straightforward. It needs light and air. I was lucky to get light and air from my treatment and two wonderful doctors. And because of that, here you go, I am sharing some of my hope with you. I hope you can feel it.

What should I do with all these bands that have fallen off? I’m sure I can think of a few people that have pissed me off over the last few years that I can flick them at… Maybe there is a short story in there… Maybe I’ll call it, Flick off!! Watch this space people.

Over and out for now.

I hope you are all okay…

Treya and her dear friend hope. x
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