It was a great relief that I was actually in the Specialist Clinic. At the same time, degree of exhaustion started registering to my brain. I would have collapsed on arrival. If I lied down now, I wouldn’t be able to get up for a few hours. I believe the adrenalin kicked in and it was giving me the false energy to get through the day.
The reception area was pleasantly bright and welcoming. However, it was too bright for me, so I kept my sunglasses on. There are white chairs in the waiting area to match the pleasant brightness. Receptionist was also welcoming and friendly. She collected necessary information from me. I asked her a favour to witness my signatures for some documents. One was the consent form I had to give to the Specialist, the others are for my lease agreement renewal.
From the exhaustion, signing became a difficult challenge. Muscle didn’t have strength. Yet, my attempt of constrict it triggered a big jerk. The receptionist was patient with my struggle and extra slowness in completing the task.
While waiting, my body kept twitching or jerking uncontrollably. It would be the situation that my body usually starts collapsing and I wouldn’t be able to keep sitting up anymore. I assumed the adrenalin energy kept pumping to stop me from collapsing.
When I was going to switch off mobile phone, I saw a message from my kind friend and it made me smile. She is really a sweet person and was as nervous as I was about the appointment. I didn’t have strength to send a message back, not even a short one… I thanked her in my heart. She would understand why I couldn’t let her know I was actually in the Clinic.
The Clinic is wheelchair friendly. Entrance was through wheelchair ramp and there was no stairs at all. Front door opens automatically. Hard floor without carpet through the premises makes it easier for a wheelchair to move around. The reception counter has lower section for a person in a wheelchair to communicate with the receptionist.
The Specialist called me. I assumed he called my Japanese name. I weakly raised my hand to signal I heard him and I was coming. He quickly disappeared in his office, then quickly come out again. He offered to push me into his office. I accepted because I wasn’t sure if I could do it with my extremely weakened arms. He seemed being used to pushing wheelchair and gave me warning to watch my elbows as we enter his office. He must have many patients in wheelchair.
His office was a little dark and nice. It clicked to me two or three days later at home that his office has dim light switch to accommodate patients with photophobia and sensory stimuli challenge.
He was dressed in smart casual with jeans and no tie. He didn’t smile, but there was no hostility or negativeness.
I was calm and was ready for whatever going to happen now.