6pm, Friday night, I am in bed. I am breathing slowly and chanting my favourite mantra...
serenity, peace and strength
(it gets me through some tough times)
Am in my jim jams, two cats under the duvet with me. My friends Lucozade and Ibuprofen sitting by my side.
The reason for this early retirement from the world is 'The Warning Signs'.
The Warning Signs are the signs I get that I am headed for am m.e. episode...
.....my limbs ache, my head is fuzzy, my chest and throat are sore, I feel very tired and very weak. When I get the warning signs I need to STOP and REST in order to stop the attack. Sometimes I'm too late, sometimes I'm ok. Tonight, I'm somewhere in between.
So, that is why, on a Friday night at 6pm I am in my jim jams and in bed.
Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, thinking about the revellers next door and how much fun they're having (i live next door to a pub). Sometimes I feel sad, for having been interrupted from doing something I love in order to force myself to rest. Sometimes I don't feel sad at all... like tonight.
I think about all the people out there who dearly wish that they could settle down in bed at 6pm on a Friday, with nothing to do and no one to see: all those cooking dinner for their families, all those still at work, all those starting their late shifts, all those still on their way home in the rain.
And here I am, all quiet, two cosy cats at my side, breathing slowly and deeply into the quiet.
..serenity, peace and strength.
..I. AM. Serenity ... Peace ... and Strength.
These precious words that keep my alive, keep me going, keep me brave, keep me strong.