Yes, this is another rant. It needs to get out from my system. It is really hard to cope when I have nobody to talk to in person.
So, you probably don’t want to read this.
I tried to organise transport for the medical appointment in March. Transport had been such a difficult and stressful issue. So, I was feeling empowered when this issue finally seemed to have feasible support plan that I desperately needed.
I got devastated when the email response for the transport request was that they cannot give the service to me anymore.
The reason was because I cannot sit up during the transportation as it violates safety requirement, if I need to recline the seat more than 45 degree. They also concern that reclining the seat will cause inconvenience to other passengers in the car. They suggested to organise ambulance transport with my GP.
I told them that 45 degree recline is still good enough and I need them to take me to the appointment. I also need to get to the appointment to discuss about the transport issue with Dr GD as he is also my GP. I’m waiting for their response.
I was told there won’t be any fellow passengers with their service. So, I assume the rule is changing. I feel bad that I would cause inconvenience to the fellow passengers. My existence is always nuisance to others…
As for ambulance transport, I’m not sure about this service, either. Ambulance won’t allow me to take my wheelchair, so I would get stuck at the destination without my wheelchair.
And the recent years, ambulance requests were passed onto Senior Citizen’s Centre and I was being transported by a passenger car anyway.
Since the Practice Manager of local Medical Centre changed my long term treating GP in late 2011, she interfered with my care behind my back. The treatment and support I had was taken away by her one by one. From the expression on the GP’s face, I could see that the ambulance transport was the next support I would lose. I realised that they really don’t want me to stay as their patient. And it is such a depressing reality that a patient as sick and disabled as I am without family or carer is not welcome at the only Medical Centre I could manage to go without assistance.
As stress is known to exacerbate ME/CFS, after the distressful treatment/unofficial dismissal from the local Medical Centre deteriorated my condition. Now, I cannot even go to the Medical Centre without assistant, although I refuse to go there again to be treated as a nuisance anyway. (Especially when they don’t have any doctor who is prepared to lean and treat my complicated medical conditions.)
I am trying not to get upset or depressed. But, things like this keep coming to me over and over when I felt I would be able to hanging in there. These days, I cannot stop thinking how long I could last, whenever something like this happens.
I’m trying to think possibilities.
I might ask if community support could take me to the appointment when I have Anglicare assistant next time, although I know it is too much to ask since the trip to the clinic and appointment will need more than 1.5 hours.
Dr GD might have some solution to this problem… Although, I’m aware that he cannot give me anything when there is nothing in the system.
If nothing worked out, there is only one option left that I don’t want to talk or think. I want to keep hanging in there, so that one day, effective treatment will be available for me to get better.
To be honest, I’m fed up with trying to get some help. I need to have a break from the challenges. (And I just thought I had one…) And I hope nobody will dare to say I didn’t try enough.
At least, I am still Dr GD’s patient. And at least, I still have Anglicare’s outing assistance.