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Organizing Life to Accept Help

Posted Sep 01 2008 7:10pm

This was the same Monday I had the doctor’s appointment.

My neighbour friends J & K kept offering help by email. They knew I was completely in bed. They were more like begging and suggesting there must be something they could do to make my suffering easier. They were literally ready to climb a mountain just to make my life little easier.

J is taking my rubbish bin in and out every week. He even check my letterbox and leave mails and flyers at a place I could easily pick up. Whenever he does this for me, I am too sick to greet him or to say thank you. I continuously lie in bed and sometimes I cannot even notice he was there. He understands my condition and doesn’t take this as rude at all.

Considering he has his own health problem, this was more than enough help for me. K sends me email almost every day. I’m sensing that she is new to the computer/keyboard and she is putting extra effort to compose one email every day. These are more than enough to overwhelm me with appreciation.

I asked them not to worry about the rubbish bin when J is sick. It will be awful when he gets even sicker just trying to help me. K looked into my eyes, and told me that he will never stop doing it even he would be having serious breathing problem. And she asked me to allow him to help because it is important to him. Something about the way she said stopped me from saying anymore.

I don’t think I deserve this much of kindness. But strangely, they don’t make me feel guilty at all. I still feel they are my friends and they are helping me as the way good friends do to each other…

On this Monday, I felt mental and physical strength first time in two weeks. I decided to organise a couple of things in order to accept my friends’ offer of help.

I rang them first to see if it was still okay for them to help me that day. K answered the phone and the first thing she told me was “I love you”. She is such a gorgeous woman.

However, I learned that J was not doing well with his health. He had to go to hospital with emergency ambulance the day before and was at the doctor’s office while we were talking. Yet he was determined to do anything to make my life easier. So I explained to K that I was going to organise a couple of things with Post Office and Chemist, so that he can pick up mails and/or medicines for me when I’m not well. K liked this idea very much.

While we were talking, I saw J drove back from the doctor’s office, and he drove off again in a hurry. I phoned K again to see if J was okay. She was little upset because J was upset. He had to go back to the Medical Centre to have very painful blood test. He needed to have his blood taken from artery. According to them, the process of finding the artery behind veins with a needle is very painful. He was close to furious that he had to go through the pain again. I rather sensed the frustration of dealing with the illness.

I was sure that I would walk into him (or I should say wheel into him) in the small Shopping Plaza. So I told K that I would give him a hug and calm him down when I see him. She believed that would cheer him up greatly.

First, I had to go to the Post Office before they close. I picked up a parcel, which happened to be a surprise gift from American friend. (I’m completely spoiled these days.) Then I asked the staff (I’m assuming she is a manager) if I could have someone to pick up parcels and registered mail on behalf of me. She informed me that her staff know who I am, and they also know I’m very sick. She apologised that the system is not convenient for me. But they are willing to cooperate with my situation as much as they could. What she suggested was to ring and let them know who is picking my mail just before the person arrives. And let him/her bring my ID and their ID. She told me that they would look after me. It was a nice assurance, and it was nice to know that I could ask J to pick up parcel from now on.

Then it was already the time for me to go to the Medical Centre. The clinic was extremely busy, and even the friendly receptionist didn’t have time to talk to me. I knew there would be enough time for me to go to the Chemist before my turn.

When I started wheeling towards the Chemist, J found me. It seemed he had gone home after the test, then came out again to find me because K told him I was looking for him. He looked very stressed out. But as soon as he saw me, he gave me a gorgeous smile and I gave him a hug. He had bandage on both wrists. The nurse couldn’t find the artery at the first try, and had to test the other wrist… It must be still hurting a lot because he didn’t allow me to touch them. He briefly filled me with the drama he had to go through since the day before. We sort of blamed cold weather for the trouble. It’s always nice to have something we can blame on.

He was ready to help me with anything. He pushed my wheelchair deliberately as if we were drank. He almost runs over a gentleman at the Chemist counter and I had to scream to stop him.

While I was waiting for the prescription, I asked the staff if J could pick up my medicines on behalf of me. They knew J very well, and didn’t see any problem with that. They even open an account for me so that I don’t need to worry about payment when J’s picking up the medicine. From now on, when I’m too sick to go out, I can email J & K the medicines I need. They will pick them up for me, and leave them at the place away from public eye at my place. So I don’t even worry about getting up to get to the door when I’m too weak or paralysed. This is just a heavenly arrangement for me.

J even went to the Supermarket and got me dog food and bread. He didn’t accept money from me, because he had just won good money at Porky. So I accepted his kindness just for this time. From the next time, I need to arrange some payment method with J & K, as I don’t carry cash on me. I’m hoping they will allow me to transfer money into their bank account, or pay to their credit card directly, when I ask them to get me some food. I guess I organised enough for now, and will think about that later.

I had to go back to the Medical Centre since it had been taking longer than I expected. J told me to honk when I come home, so that he can close the gate for me, which would save me from walking the sloped drive way. He is an angel.

After the appointment with Dr TL, I had a rather long chat with receptionists. Then, I went to the Supermarket and did some food shopping. Since John helped me with the bulky items earlier, it was an easy shopping for me.

When I got home, K came to help me. Apparently J wasn’t breathing well, so he had to stay at home. She helped me with carrying the items and wheelchair.

Although I was feeling really worn out, I felt happy and fulfilled from successfully organising a couple of things in order to receive help from my friends. Everywhere I went on that day, people were extremely nice and supportive. I just don’t know what is happening to me, but my life is surely getting better.

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