I found this piece in my 'unpublished' draft list..
I'm struggling to eat at the moment. My current diet consists of:
Coffee Lucozade Cheese Pitta bread Crisps
Not enough andnotvery healthy.
I do love food: I'm a true foodie. But my spirit is low, and with it my tastebuds have become dormant.
I'm not unhappyas such. In so many countless and wonderful ways I'm happier now than I've ever been. But I've just entered the 5th year of this illness. And that's got me.
So I'm blue. And I've lost my appetite. The gnawing of my hunger happily manifests the gnawing of my spirit.
I think I need to grieve. Recognise my losses. But I do have hope. And I do know thatthis too shall pass...
...And it is indeed passing, though I can't say my eating habits have improved much - It's such a paradox.. to eat healthily you need energy to go out, buy the ingredients, cook them, and eat them... but with no energy... it's peanut butter on toast .. but it is indeed passing.. and things are indeed getting better..
Today's favourite song: Black Kids, 'Hurricane Jane'