For the past few weeks, the weather here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, has been volleying back and forth between the 20’s and the 40’s. But yesterday, as well as today, we were suddenly greeted with a wonderful spike in warmth as we have watched the temperatures climb to the low to mid 70’s.
Tomorrow, we return to the normal pattern of our weather volleying between the 20’s to the 40’s – with a little possible snow thrown in the mix.
This is nothing unusual for the state of Oklahoma. It was one of the reasons I returned after moving back to New Hampshire for a year. No matter what kind of weather we get, or for how long, we can almost always count on a couple of warms days to pop up in the middle of our winter season and give us a nice, needed break from the cold of winter. Even still, when those days arrive, I greet them with wonderment and surprise every time.
As I sit here looking out my open windows at my majestic view, I find myself contemplating how, even in the middle of the cold, winter months, respite often comes unannounced. For me, it is always welcomed, like a warm wool blanket on a dark, cold evening. I often look at these respites in weather as a reminder that warmer, sunshine, blue-sky filled days are coming, not just outside but within me.
The dark, cold days of winter often seem like they stretch out for eternity. However, these refreshing days of sunshine and warmth always serve to remind me that winter can only stay for a little while. His time is already pre-determined. If he dallies too long, Spring will boot him out the door.
Even with the myriad of symptoms, crashes, relapses, and endless changes and challenges that come with living with a chronic illness (ME/CFS or FMS), I think that this journey is much like that of Mr. Winter and Ms. Spring.
There are days that I lay here, wondering when the day will come that my energy soars back to life within my body. The winter days are especially hard on my body for a myriad of reasons from the shorter days; the closed windows; the limited time away from my abode; the repeated winter illnesses that arise; the constant resting resulting from the departure of energy to who knows where, and on and on.
These restrictions always serve to reinforce Winter’s whisper in my ear that he has come to visit, yet again, and like the guest who never leaves, he has made plans to stay for quite a while.
But Spring’s surprise visit, re-invigorates me with the promise that no matter what Winter thinks, his day are numbered and Spring is anxiously biding the day that she will arrive in all her glorious beauty!
Mr. Winter and Ms. Spring, often remind me that though crashes and relapses come, with days dragging slowly, painfully, exhaustingly into weeks and months, interspersed throughout a very long stretch, are little bits of respite.
It is these respites that lead me by the hand from one season of winter into another season of spring. I just have to remember to hang on and wait for the next respite that is waiting in the wings.
Note: I apologize if I captilized Spring and Winter and wasn’t supposed to. I new I had used the personification tool, but couldn’t remember if I was supposed to Capitalize the objects I personify. My gut said yes, so I went with that!