Things I have to say no to: -late nights -intensive workouts -wine :( -shopping marathons
Things I hate saying no to: -meetups with friends -yoga -driving down to see family in Red Bank -knitting -subbing (okay maybe I don't hate saying no to this, but it's hard to say no to extra money)
Things I can't say no to: -cooking -taking care of Raven, my dog -food shopping -laundry -sleep
It's really hard for me to say no. Finding balance in what I can do and can't do is frustrating and hard. What usually happens is I don't say no to anything and then in a day I'll end up doing way too much. Wednesday I drove to my parents (50 min drive). After I heated up some soup and ate lunch, I took a nap. Then I went down to a bookclub (another long drive). The drive was tiring but it was worth it to see some friends I used to work with. A few hours later, I drove back to my parents exhausted. Then Thursday, I went for a knitting lesson early in the morning and ended up staying in the shop for 3 hours trying to finish a Christmas gift. I came home and ate a late lunch. I took a nap on the couch in the quiet house. Soon after I laid down, my dog was sniffing my face, her way of telling me she had to go out. I took her for a brief walk, went to the market, helped with dinner and packed up my things. When I sat down to eat dinner, it hit me. My whole body hurt. I was overwhelmed with exhaustion. My throat was killing me, I didn't even want to eat. I started to panic. The thought of driving home at 6:00 pm in the dark was torture. The past two days felt like a marathon. Instead of bolting through the finishing line, I felt like I was inching along like a slug. A beat up slug. I drove home, carried some bags in and collapsed in my lazy boy chair. I couldn't move my legs. My arms and legs felt like they weighed thousands of pounds. I wanted to get a drink of water, but couldn't move. I wondered, what could I have said no to?