I haven't been feeling well this week. Not horrible, just run-down with achy legs. I've been trying hard to be patient and remain positive, trying to convince myself that it's just a mild crash from doing too much last weekend or maybe from the little bit of snow shoveling I did on Monday. I've canceled errands I wanted to run, put off things I meant to get done, and tried hard to rest even though my mind has been racing.
But I can't ignore the facts anymore. The achiness is definitely centered in my knees now, and it's getting worse, not better. I think - no, I'm pretty sure now - that I still have Lyme.
I quit the antibiotics 10 days ago, felt really great last week, and have been getting worse and worse since Monday. I've been through this before, in October, and I know what comes next. I go back on doxycycline and have to go through the herx (worsening of symptoms) again.
I'm trying hard to stay calm and not panic, but the truth is that I'm close to tears right now. I thought I was done with Lyme. Isn't CFS enough to deal with?
Mostly, I'm worried about the next few days. I've worked hard to plan this trip to Baltimore this weekend, and I've been so excited about it. Now I can't decide whether to go back on the antibiotics immediately or wait until after the weekend. I'm not feeling great right now, but what if the herx starts right away and I get much worse for the trip? Or maybe if I start back on doxycycline now, I'll have a few days of feeling good before the herx starts (sometimes it works that way). I don't know what to do.
Also, we learned this morning at the orthodontist that Craig will definitely need braces next year. Previously, they thought he'd only need a retainer (which he had last year). So, my plans to try to set aside a little money so we could take the kids on a nice vacation next year are shot. I don't know how we'll find the money to pay for braces, on top of all the other medical bills.