My long absent brother contacted me.
His voice was depressed and I could tell he was forcing himself not to cry. It gave me adrenaline surge. What is going on? I had to help him!
He had to move. He lost all my contact information. He finally found my phone number in his mobile phone. He is having serious neuro-cognitive problem and having trouble remembering anything. When we spoke last time, he had symptoms of ME/CFS. Although there is nothing I can do, I worried about him. His neuro-cognitive dysfunction is much worse than mine now.
I believe his memory loss has something to do with PTSD. While he was missing, he had a horrific accident and lost most of memory prior to the accident. (He almost lost his life while nobody knew about it…) More recently, while his health was deteriorating, he pushed himself to stay working and got involved in another accident at work. He lost the job and couldn’t find any while his health is in such struggle.
He told me he is diagnosed with Dysautonomia and now is on social security. I was relieved that he is not starving on the street with his disabling illness. At the same time, I was surprised that he got the support from Government since I believed it is almost impossible. His doctor told him that there is no treatment for Dysautonomia and he won’t get better. He is taking medication for depression. At the back of my mind, I worried that the anti-depressant is causing damage, just like it harmed me.
Despite of the different diagnosis, we are having the similar illness and similar physical symptoms. I was convinced that this must be generic component of ME/CFS. Then, he told me that our younger cousins, whom I hardly know, are also showing the mild symptoms of what we have.
Our family isolated themselves from relatives. And the relatives are avoiding my parents (and grand parents). Technically, we didn’t have relatives while we grew up. My brother occasionally hear from long distant relatives, but there is hardly any regular communication between them. Just like me, he is determined not to go back to our parents house. That is the place where too many painful memories and traumas. They’ve done enough harm to us. My heart ached to know that my little brother is also suffering from the debilitating illness in isolation and loneliness in different country.
I needed to get his email address. Two neuro-cognitively challenged people trying to communicate in two different languages were making us even more exhausted and even more neuro-cognitively challenged. I also have extra challenge communicating in Japanese. I can understand it. But only English comes out from my mouth. Getting his email address was not easy as it is like a meaningless code that has several alphabet and numbers. His neuro-cognitive dysfunction just couldn’t get mine, just trying is too much for him, which I can completely understand… There were a few more phone calls and email error messages before I finally got it right. We were both irritated and exhausted by this task, but we also know exactly why it is so difficult to us.
Adrenalin kept running long after the quest, which kept exhausting me further and further. I was bedbound the next day from PENE or possibly adrenal fatigue over using cognitive function beyond its limit. At least, it was a nice relief to notice the tone of depression and desperation in his voice disappeared by the last phone call. (Despite the task was challenging our neuro-cognitive and physical limitation.)
We didn’t have the opportunity to get to know each other. We both suffered in the abusive parents’ hands. Then, he went missing. After I moved to Australia, he managed to find me. We were basically strangers/foreigners and there was not much we could talk on the phone. Our contact didn’t become regular, and we eventually lost each other again.
It is ironic. I don’t know how to take it.
I hate ME/CFS and my life with ME/CFS. And I’m very sad that my brother is also suffering now. However, it gave us the opportunity to understand and get to know each other. This evil fate gave me the twisted sense of strength that I must keep hanging in there.
We are exchanging short emails. I admire him that he is monthly donating to Earthquake Relief Fund from his minimum social security income. He wants to help me financially, which we both know impossible. But, thoughts count. I assured him that I’m okay as I’m receiving Disability Support Pension (DSP), which allows me to survive and I’m grateful for it. Despite of all hardships in his life, he remains as a good and caring person. That shows his inner strength, which is very nice to recognise. Since I haven’t done anything sisterly thing for him, I feel this is not my place to say. But, I’m proud of him.
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My long absent brother contacted me.
His voice was depressed and I could tell he was forcing himself not to cry. It gave me adrenaline surge. What is going on? I had to help him!
He had to move. He lost all my contact information. He finally found my phone number in his mobile phone. He is having serious neuro-cognitive problem and having trouble remembering anything. When we spoke last time, he had symptoms of ME/CFS. Although there is nothing I can do, I worried about him. His neuro-cognitive dysfunction is much worse than mine now.
I believe his memory loss has something to do with PTSD. While he was missing, he had a horrific accident and lost most of memory prior to the accident. (He almost lost his life while nobody knew about it…) More recently, while his health was deteriorating, he pushed himself to stay working and got involved in another accident at work. He lost the job and couldn’t find any while his health is in such struggle.
He told me he is diagnosed with Dysautonomia and now is on social security. I was relieved that he is not starving on the street with his disabling illness. At the same time, I was surprised that he got the support from Government since I believed it is almost impossible. His doctor told him that there is no treatment for Dysautonomia and he won’t get better. He is taking medication for depression. At the back of my mind, I worried that the anti-depressant is causing damage, just like it harmed me.
Despite of the different diagnosis, we are having the similar illness and similar physical symptoms. I was convinced that this must be generic component of ME/CFS. Then, he told me that our younger cousins, whom I hardly know, are also showing the mild symptoms of what we have.
Our family isolated themselves from relatives. And the relatives are avoiding my parents (and grand parents). Technically, we didn’t have relatives while we grew up. My brother occasionally hear from long distant relatives, but there is hardly any regular communication between them. Just like me, he is determined not to go back to our parents house. That is the place where too many painful memories and traumas. They’ve done enough harm to us. My heart ached to know that my little brother is also suffering from the debilitating illness in isolation and loneliness in different country.
I needed to get his email address. Two neuro-cognitively challenged people trying to communicate in two different languages were making us even more exhausted and even more neuro-cognitively challenged. I also have extra challenge communicating in Japanese. I can understand it. But only English comes out from my mouth. Getting his email address was not easy as it is like a meaningless code that has several alphabet and numbers. His neuro-cognitive dysfunction just couldn’t get mine, just trying is too much for him, which I can completely understand… There were a few more phone calls and email error messages before I finally got it right. We were both irritated and exhausted by this task, but we also know exactly why it is so difficult to us.
Adrenalin kept running long after the quest, which kept exhausting me further and further. I was bedbound the next day from PENE or possibly adrenal fatigue over using cognitive function beyond its limit. At least, it was a nice relief to notice the tone of depression and desperation in his voice disappeared by the last phone call. (Despite the task was challenging our neuro-cognitive and physical limitation.)
We didn’t have the opportunity to get to know each other. We both suffered in the abusive parents’ hands. Then, he went missing. After I moved to Australia, he managed to find me. We were basically strangers/foreigners and there was not much we could talk on the phone. Our contact didn’t become regular, and we eventually lost each other again.
It is ironic. I don’t know how to take it.
I hate ME/CFS and my life with ME/CFS. And I’m very sad that my brother is also suffering now. However, it gave us the opportunity to understand and get to know each other. This evil fate gave me the twisted sense of strength that I must keep hanging in there.
We are exchanging short emails. I admire him that he is monthly donating to Earthquake Relief Fund from his minimum social security income. He wants to help me financially, which we both know impossible. But, thoughts count. I assured him that I’m okay as I’m receiving Disability Support Pension (DSP), which allows me to survive and I’m grateful for it. Despite of all hardships in his life, he remains as a good and caring person. That shows his inner strength, which is very nice to recognise. Since I haven’t done anything sisterly thing for him, I feel this is not my place to say. But, I’m proud of him.