At the end of the August, I went to see a female GP for Pap smear as suggested by Dr TL.
Her office is in a big and modern building. I didn’t know how big the inside of the premise was. If I did, I certainly used my wheelchair. After waiting for over an hour laying on a nice but very uncomfortable two seaters, the female doctor called me. There was a quite distance for me to walk to her office from where I was. She didn’t wait for me and disappeared into her office long before I reach it. Since I walk very slowly, she had to wait more than she expected. I really should have used the wheelchair.
First thing she said to me was, “You don’t look a happy woman.” I couldn’t figure out what she was suggesting. I assured her that I was a happy woman, but I’m little sick. She quickly asked my medical history and allergies.
She didn’t want to do the Pap smear as I’d been bleeding. When I asked what I could do as the bleeding didn’t seem to stop anytime soon, she said she would give me the test anyway. But she told me that there was a possibility that the lab wouldn’t process the specimen if there is any blood.
She also noticed that my uterus was enlarged and ordered me a Pelvic Ultra Sound.
I don’t like dealing with female stuff. I want to ignore them as much as I could. In my mind set, the word uterus doesn’t relate to my body. Now that she made me aware that uterus actually belongs to my body, my whole being became as if I was having an identity crisis…
I asked her what would be the reason for enlarged uterus. She briefly told me that it wouldn’t be anything serious and probably the fibrosis.
It seems that there is an agreement between Dr TL and this female GP that she only does Pap smear and Dr TL will handle the results and any issue relating to it. Before I left her office, she told me that I had to discuss about the bleeding with Dr TL.
I made an appointment with an X Ray place for the Pelvic Ultra Sound. During a weeklong of waiting for the Ultra Sound, I just disliked the idea that I had to deal with my uterus.
When I arrived at the X Ray place in the following week, I was dealt by unfriendly receptionist. She told me that the technician was running late. But before too long, a happy and very friendly technician came out to fetch me. She asked my permission and pushed my wheelchair to the room for me. There was subtle confidence in the air that she knew how to handle wheelchair and people using it.
First she double checked the test we were going to have. Then she asked the reason why I was using the wheelchair. I told her that I have ME and I can only walk short distance. She asked me what ME stands for. When she heard Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, she said that was exactly what she thought. She asked me when I was diagnosed, but she knew I was suffering much longer prior to the diagnosis.
It was very unusual to see a medical practitioner who knows about ME, and she even had intimate knowledge about suffering, such as detailed problems with muscles and so on. I expressed my shock and admiration to her knowledge. She told me she used to be a nurse and studied about ME. It was another shock for me. Do people actually study about ME officially? I assumed that she also knew someone who is living with severe ME.
Her friendly and considerable attitude helped me relax on the exam table. Generally, in my mind, ultra sound relates to pregnancy. And it felt weird that she is looking at an empty uterus.
There was a wall mounted monitor and I could see what she was seeing on her computer screen. She explained everything she was going to do and why. And told me stories what she was seeing. One of the stories she told me was that my uterus is a shape of heart. She assured me there was nothing wrong with it just in case I was worried. Actually, I felt that being an owner of heart shaped uterus was special. Then, I laughed a lot because it was funny at the same time. My disliking of female organs magically disappeared and I became friends with them.
According to her, my uterus is positioned at further back and she couldn’t get clear image as she wish. So she let me go to toilet and empty my bladder, then tried to get better image from inside.
She respected my privacy and feeling of embarrassment. At the same time, she efficiently assisted me to get ready for the next process. She was very through and even scanned kidneys. She told me she was making sure that all nasties were ruled out.
After the test was finished, she assisted me again to get ready to go. Although I was slow, she never attempted to hurry me up. She told me that my uterus was in good condition. It was nice to know. Since I made friends with my uterus, I also felt sorry for it because it would not be used despite of being in good condition. This actually created a question if I want to have my own baby… I managed to make this question go away. It is best not to think about it.
I thanked the technician for making the process such tolerable and rather good experience for me. I also expressed my appreciation for her understandings of ME/CFS and considerable assistance during the test.
She said that was not a problem at all and gave me a nice hug. (I’m becoming a hug hog…)
The report would be ready in two days. She would also send it to Dr TL for me. I told the unfriendly receptionist that the technician was lovely. She looked at me with the expression, “Who cares?”
As I was leaving the place, I heard the technician was explaining about ME to the receptionist. And I was smiling from witnessing a little ripple of ME awareness happening.