I had a very trying day on Saturday. I felt my heart and lungs were under strain. My lungs felt as if they were made of heavy and thick concrete. My heart had to work extra hard to pump blood out. Muscles were fatigued and weak. Walking a few steps made me feel I couldn’t go any further and had to lie down.
Walking from my car to the clinic was hard. I could only move extremely slow. Slower than a snail. When I got to the reception, I was out of my breath. And it stayed even after I rested in the chair. Even the receptionist noticed I was struggling.
It was a strange day. People constantly checked the waiting room. A well dressed thief had made a bogus appointment to hide in the waiting room…
There was a friendly gentleman in the waiting room. We often looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. He had gorgeous smile and generously showing it to me. It made me feel shy…
Despite of having busy day, Dr TL greeted me cheerfully. He had ambulance, police officers and didn’t have lunch break. I just hoped he is looking after his health as well. I think he had a nice haircut. And I noticed he was wearing Katana tie pin again.
I apologised for being extra slow. He noticed a vivid bruise on my arm. He thought it was him from the last B12 shot and apologised me. I explained it wasn’t really him. At the moment, I’m getting bruise easily for some reason. He gave me a name of cream that would help with bruise. There was no way I could go to the Chemist today. But it would be handy to keep it for the future.
He didn’t give me B12 shot. He explained that he prefers to wait until the bruise disappears, otherwise it may stay there like tattoo. I didn’t argue. There may be other reasons why he hesitated, but I trust his judgement.
He mentioned he saw me the other day.
That was Thursday when I came to have my blood taken. When I walked in, my Wednesday receptionist asked if I was okay. She thought I was here for emergency. She was relieved to know nothing was serious about me, and we had a little chat.
I found it very comforting that receptionists know me and care about me. And it feels safe that I don’t need to explain much if I get suddenly very sick in front of them.
Dr TL’s office door was closed. I heard him walking down the corridor while I was in the pathology room. I wished I could say hello to him, but it didn’t happen. I didn’t know when he saw me. He must have been very busy, otherwise he would have said hello to me.
I joked he is a superman after all, and he could see through walls. Or, he was using his guardian angel super power. 
He had an exciting news for me. One of the blood test results came back abnormal. This is very unusual for ME/CFS, and I can blame it for my recent flare up. I worried if it was serious. He assured me it was treatable.
He showed me each result. It was B12 that dropped significantly. It wasn’t too bad, though. I concerned the drop in figure while I was taking B Complex supplement and B12 injection.
His suggestion was to eat more red meat. I’m a meat eater, so I welcomed doctor’s advice of eating more meat. But it is not so simple for me. Meat is expensive. When I’m physically struggling, I don’t have energy to cook and clean afterwards. But I will consciously increase meat consumption and will work out something.
Some of the test result hasn’t came back yet. He phoned the lab and enquire about them. Since they couldn’t help, he told me he would ring them again on Monday and find them out for me. Nothing is too much trouble for him.
He copied PFM record from home. They are not doing well at the moment. I know it is nothing to do with flare up, fatigue or weakness, but I had to wonder the reason why.
Dr TL asked if my parents smoked. I said my father was a chain smoker. It seemed cleared his mystery. He told me I have COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), not asthma. He had been mystified because I don’t smoke. He realised Japanese men smoke a lot, and thought about the possibility that I was exposed in cigarette smoke when I was a child.
I could be going through acute COPD exacerbation that is triggered by the chemical smell when ceiling insulation was done recently. Symptoms of COPD make more sense to me than asthma.
In my opinion, COPD is worse than asthma. Asthma can be controlled. But COPD progresses over time. People end up with oxygen tank and severe pain with breathing. It is a smoker’s illness, and I really don’t deserve to suffer from this condition.
That moment, I fought against the anger towards my father. The risk of passive smoking was already known when I was a child. The passive smoking has more health risk than the actual smoker. I warned him about it and begged him to think about my health. I often had terrible cough attack at home, so my respiratory health wasn’t really good anyway. His response was a slow and long blow of smoke into my face. I was also upset that my father still manages to continue cursing me, even after all these years I stayed far away from him. I could almost see his satisfactory smirk of his achievement; the misery of my life. I wanted justice.
Dr TL was still copying PFM record from home, I mentioned I am sleeping during the night at the moment. During the bad flare up, my sleep became a real chaos. As the flare up was settling down, I am able to sleep during the night. I thought he might noticed the change in time. I mentioned how bad my sleep usually is. He asked if I know about Melatonin. I did. I thought it was very expensive. And I’m sceptical about its effect. There are also many supplements that supposed to help my condition. But they are all very expensive and I haven’t really heard convincing effect of them. He explained that majority of supplements are not scientifically proven, so doctors are not allowed to recommend them.
We both know it is a big money-making business because desperate people would pay big money for hope… I commented on irony in the industry. They are supposed to be helping those desperate people, but they could be just ripping off big money from vulnerable and poor people.
PFM in his office was still not good. He cheered me up, but it didn’t make much difference. He administrated ventoline. It showed little improvement.
Dr TL will give me a sample medicine for COPD to see if it helps at the next visit. He didn’t have any on stock.
He filled a renewal form for disability parking permit for me. We heard the receptionist singing and teased her.
I wanted to thank him for helping me to get through the recent bad depression. I know he was just doing his job, but to me, it was much more than that. I was also impressed that he never stereotype my condition and keep his mind open. With his inquiry, I know about the low B12 level and he rectified asthma with COPD. He never take a short cut or just guess.
I’m afraid my ability of expression was very limited…
Posted in Doctors, ME/CFS Tagged: COPD
I had a very trying day on Saturday. I felt my heart and lungs were under strain. My lungs felt as if they were made of heavy and thick concrete. My heart had to work extra hard to pump blood out. Muscles were fatigued and weak. Walking a few steps made me feel I couldn’t go any further and had to lie down.
Walking from my car to the clinic was hard. I could only move extremely slow. Slower than a snail. When I got to the reception, I was out of my breath. And it stayed even after I rested in the chair. Even the receptionist noticed I was struggling.
It was a strange day. People constantly checked the waiting room. A well dressed thief had made a bogus appointment to hide in the waiting room…
There was a friendly gentleman in the waiting room. We often looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. He had gorgeous smile and generously showing it to me. It made me feel shy…
Despite of having busy day, Dr TL greeted me cheerfully. He had ambulance, police officers and didn’t have lunch break. I just hoped he is looking after his health as well. I think he had a nice haircut. And I noticed he was wearing Katana tie pin again.
I apologised for being extra slow. He noticed a vivid bruise on my arm. He thought it was him from the last B12 shot and apologised me. I explained it wasn’t really him. At the moment, I’m getting bruise easily for some reason. He gave me a name of cream that would help with bruise. There was no way I could go to the Chemist today. But it would be handy to keep it for the future.
He didn’t give me B12 shot. He explained that he prefers to wait until the bruise disappears, otherwise it may stay there like tattoo. I didn’t argue. There may be other reasons why he hesitated, but I trust his judgement.
He mentioned he saw me the other day.
That was Thursday when I came to have my blood taken. When I walked in, my Wednesday receptionist asked if I was okay. She thought I was here for emergency. She was relieved to know nothing was serious about me, and we had a little chat.
I found it very comforting that receptionists know me and care about me. And it feels safe that I don’t need to explain much if I get suddenly very sick in front of them.
Dr TL’s office door was closed. I heard him walking down the corridor while I was in the pathology room. I wished I could say hello to him, but it didn’t happen. I didn’t know when he saw me. He must have been very busy, otherwise he would have said hello to me.
I joked he is a superman after all, and he could see through walls. Or, he was using his guardian angel super power.
He had an exciting news for me. One of the blood test results came back abnormal. This is very unusual for ME/CFS, and I can blame it for my recent flare up. I worried if it was serious. He assured me it was treatable.
He showed me each result. It was B12 that dropped significantly. It wasn’t too bad, though. I concerned the drop in figure while I was taking B Complex supplement and B12 injection.
His suggestion was to eat more red meat. I’m a meat eater, so I welcomed doctor’s advice of eating more meat. But it is not so simple for me. Meat is expensive. When I’m physically struggling, I don’t have energy to cook and clean afterwards. But I will consciously increase meat consumption and will work out something.
Some of the test result hasn’t came back yet. He phoned the lab and enquire about them. Since they couldn’t help, he told me he would ring them again on Monday and find them out for me. Nothing is too much trouble for him.
He copied PFM record from home. They are not doing well at the moment. I know it is nothing to do with flare up, fatigue or weakness, but I had to wonder the reason why.
Dr TL asked if my parents smoked. I said my father was a chain smoker. It seemed cleared his mystery. He told me I have COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), not asthma. He had been mystified because I don’t smoke. He realised Japanese men smoke a lot, and thought about the possibility that I was exposed in cigarette smoke when I was a child.
I could be going through acute COPD exacerbation that is triggered by the chemical smell when ceiling insulation was done recently. Symptoms of COPD make more sense to me than asthma.
In my opinion, COPD is worse than asthma. Asthma can be controlled. But COPD progresses over time. People end up with oxygen tank and severe pain with breathing. It is a smoker’s illness, and I really don’t deserve to suffer from this condition.
That moment, I fought against the anger towards my father. The risk of passive smoking was already known when I was a child. The passive smoking has more health risk than the actual smoker. I warned him about it and begged him to think about my health. I often had terrible cough attack at home, so my respiratory health wasn’t really good anyway. His response was a slow and long blow of smoke into my face. I was also upset that my father still manages to continue cursing me, even after all these years I stayed far away from him. I could almost see his satisfactory smirk of his achievement; the misery of my life. I wanted justice.
Dr TL was still copying PFM record from home, I mentioned I am sleeping during the night at the moment. During the bad flare up, my sleep became a real chaos. As the flare up was settling down, I am able to sleep during the night. I thought he might noticed the change in time. I mentioned how bad my sleep usually is. He asked if I know about Melatonin. I did. I thought it was very expensive. And I’m sceptical about its effect. There are also many supplements that supposed to help my condition. But they are all very expensive and I haven’t really heard convincing effect of them. He explained that majority of supplements are not scientifically proven, so doctors are not allowed to recommend them.
We both know it is a big money-making business because desperate people would pay big money for hope… I commented on irony in the industry. They are supposed to be helping those desperate people, but they could be just ripping off big money from vulnerable and poor people.
PFM in his office was still not good. He cheered me up, but it didn’t make much difference. He administrated ventoline. It showed little improvement.
Dr TL will give me a sample medicine for COPD to see if it helps at the next visit. He didn’t have any on stock.
He filled a renewal form for disability parking permit for me. We heard the receptionist singing and teased her.
I wanted to thank him for helping me to get through the recent bad depression. I know he was just doing his job, but to me, it was much more than that. I was also impressed that he never stereotype my condition and keep his mind open. With his inquiry, I know about the low B12 level and he rectified asthma with COPD. He never take a short cut or just guess.
I’m afraid my ability of expression was very limited…
Posted in Doctors, ME/CFS Tagged: COPD