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Attitude and Mind

Posted Jan 09 2010 7:50pm

As usual, Dr TL complimented I looked well. That is his way of welcoming to the meeting.

I had been feeling unwell. It felt like I’m having unknown virus activity (except for having no fever), but I cannot explain exactly how differently I feel… I briefly mentioned, but I didn’t expect to discuss about it. Detail of my malaise can be very long and boring.

I mentioned he had a busy day. He commented it was his normal day. Since he is through and listens to his patient carefully and investigates the issue carefully, he tends to spend generous amount of time for each patient when necessary. (That is the very reason why he is such a good doctor.) He also accepts most of walk-in patients. Naturally, his day becomes longer than expected.

It seems the continuing long working hour is causing some stress on his life. I wish I had a magic idea, but there was nothing I can possibly say to him. The best I could do was just listen without giving advice… I hope there will be some workable solution for it.

He mentioned the possible cause of mystery unwellness was contaminated tap water. Apparently, there was some human error and untreated farming water got into drinking water supply. Instead of advising the residents of the unsafe drinking water, they secretly checked with doctors if there are patients with sign of drinking the contaminated tap water. Lovely…

Dr TL suggested getting bottled water. Unfortunately, I didn’t have enough energy to go to the shops that day. So, I just had to suffer… Boiling water might eliminate germs and bacteria. He suggested it doesn’t eliminate pesticide… I use water filter that supposed to eliminate pesticide. He again suggested that water filter is a gimmick. Well…, I kinda agree with him.

It explained the reason why my dog was sick for a couple of days. As for me, I really cannot pin point if this is the water or mystery virus as I had been unwell for a few days. I think I have the mystery virus activity and the contaminated water made it worse.

It would be nice if the authority told us when it happened, and when the water becomes safe to drink again. I don’t expect this to happen, but it would be nice to give compliment bottled water for housebound residents.

While he was listening to my chest, I smelled very subtle woody scent. It was nice. He told me my chest was slightly tight. It was nice to hear that tight chest and dysponea are not my imagination.

It was difficult to guess how my lung function would be. Although I’ve been recording reasonably good result at home, I was putting bit more effort to achieve it.

The first PFM wasn’t good at all. Dr TL calmly cheered. The second try was a little over my personal minimum target. Okay, I’m getting there… Dr TL was quietly looking. The third try… Amazingly, it was my best ever! Dr TL was so pleased that he couldn’t say anything. He was bowing like Japanese to show his praise. I bowed back and thanked him. “Hi, sensei.” He complimented it was a Bushido performance.

I asked him if he could give me Vitamin B12 injection. I had weekly injection for a while. Since the effect became unnoticeable, we decided to stop. Since it’s been a while, I wondered if it would give me the effect again. I still had some vials left, so I wanted to try.

While he was preparing for the injection, I noticed he looked very tired.

Since he wanted to go home and he looked tired, I didn’t bother him with talk or question after the injection.

I thanked him for giving me the injection.

He gave me warm handshake. He was still very pleased by the PFM record.

While I was picking my bags and walking stick, he told me I have a good attitude. He was sure I would get better. As usual, I responded with “I have a good doctor”. And I really mean it. He corrected with “It’s in your mind”. He didn’t mean that my mind is making up my illness. He meant the key to recovery is positive mind and I have it.  I teased him if he was reading my mind.

When he opened the door, I saw a few more patients waiting. When I walked in to his office, I was the last patient of the day. I was disappointed for him. I hoped they were quick patients and he could go home soon.

When I got home, my mystery unwellness took a sharp turn for much worse. Sadly, I didn’t feel any effect from the B12 injection. I’m convinced that it does not work for me anymore.

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