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Posted Sep 28 2008 6:06pm


Recently, my friend Zarii had her first appointment with Dr TL, and she was busy getting all the tests done while attending other demanding personal errands. The way she was pushing herself over her limit really made me nervous. Mind you, she is also living with ME/CFS.

Saturday morning, she completed her last test and decided to come and see me before she goes back to the island. Since sleep paralysis and heavy disabling fatigue is back, morning is really not the time for me to go out. But my selfishness couldn’t resist the opportunity of meeting up with her again and catch up. And I chose to ignore the possible problems I would cause to Zarii for nothing. I still stupidly believe I could use my will power just once again…

She was extremely understanding and patient with my unreliability and slowness. She had her breakfast alone at café in my local shopping plaza and allowed me to take time getting ready to go out.

I did take decent shower and washed hair the night before. So I could get away with quick (as in severe MEites’ quick) shower. At least that was my plan.

The house I’m renting is a very old house. So the shower is actually put over bath tub and I climb over into the tab and sit on shower chair in the tab when I have shower. The shower is attached to a long hose, so that I can reach it from the chair easily.

When I stood up to finish off, I felt dizzy and lost balance. I cannot remember clearly what happened next. I tried to grab on my shower chair, but at the same time I knew the chair is sitting on uneven bath tab bottom and it will not help me from falling. As I fell, I tipped over the side of bath tab and I was falling head down on the hard tiled floor from my head. Just before my head hit the hard floor, I tried to curl up into fetus position. It seemed I landed on between my side and back and between my neck and my head.

The next thing I noticed was that I was on the wet floor, one of my leg was still hanging on to the edge of bath tab, water from the shower was still flooding the tile floor, my hand was still grabbed on arm of the shower chair which leg was in tipped over rubbish bin. It seemed the shower curtain broke the fall, but still mysteriously hanging from the curtain poll perfectly.

I was bit confused for a while and realised I had to stop the water. I figured out where my arms and legs, then tried to get up. I was surprised that I could still move. I felt pain in my head and neck. As soon as I stop the water, I realised that it was a miracle I didn’t break my neck. My right arm completely lost strength and I didn’t know if it was ME related or damage from the fall. But I knew the pain in bones in arm and elbow were from the fall.

Basil came for the rescue. Well, at least he wanted to.

I looked at the soaking wet floor hopelessly without knowing what to do. I mopped the floor as quick as I could. (as in severe ME speed.) I cleaned myself again. Then I heard phone rang. It was Zarii and I was shocked to see the time.

She said she ended up seeing Dr TL for her blood test result and told me if I was not well enough to go out, I didn’t need to worry about meeting her. I felt awful, but I put so much effort since the night before to see her to catch up. I was probably 10 minutes away from leaving the house then. I didn’t want to waste all the efforts, and I really wanted to meet her. I quickly explained what happened and told her I would be about 15 minutes away. I felt really awful. Not only I was keeping her waiting, she also has ME and it is not easy for her to wait around. I was the most egoistic person in the world that moment.

As I was getting ready, I realised the effect of the fall was more than I originally though. I couldn’t turn my neck from pain and my arm was so weak that I could not grab my walking stick. Luckily, my wheelchair was still in my car boot since I was too weak to take it out last time.

As usual, by the time I get out from the door, I was exhausted from the effort of getting ready. And I had no idea or plan how I was going to cope the day.



~ * ~

Please don’t worry about me. I am okay apart from bruises at side of my face and leg and aching neck, arm and elbow. Good part is that these little problems will disappear soon for good. Just to make you feel relax, I had a quick check up from my doctor and there is no head injury. I ended up having a good day, but I couldn’t finish drafting the post before the severe payback sets in.

At the moment, my brain has no strength of writing, focusing or concentrating. I am reduced to Zombie with paralysing heavy fatigue, insomnia, then hypersomnia, worsened orthostatic intolerance, pains in bones & joints all over (not from the fall, but ME related), pain in upper spine that is spreading pains in surrounding muscle & organs, which also giving me suffocating pressure towards lungs and giving me dyspnoea… I can only manage ready-to-eat food (meaning whatever junk food available in this house), and digestive process is extremely struggling as well… My bladder has been very weak. As soon as I started feel comfortable, it force me to get out from bed and struggle to get to the toilet with extreme efforts and will power… With the combination of cold sweat, I’m starting to wonder if menopause is starting…

So it’s fair to estimate that it will be for a while before I function normally (as in severe MEites normal). So I decided to post the accident part first.

Next post will be another fun day I had with Zarii, and you will be smiling with me while reading it. (At least, that is what I’m hoping.)


While I’m resting, I leave you with this well done interview for ME/CFS Awareness Week by Australian TV show. I’m not sure if people from other country can watch it or not.

9 am with David & Kim: Chronic Fatigue Awareness Week



Filed under: ME/CFS

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