Action has had to be taken! My soul was deprived after the last couple of weeks of having to lie around like a blob, merely existing. I've decided to fight those little buggers, and reclaim it back. This has been achieved by simply feeding this little soul of mine. And the recipe for doing such is as follows:
Step 1. A good kick in the ass
Step 2. Resist the calling of the bed.
Step 3. A sunny day
Step 4. A walk. For which you will need the following:
Uplifting views of nature
A music playlist of your favorite songs
A keen awareness
Step 5. A pat on the back!
Yes, it may sound simple. But it is effective.
I have given in over the last two weeks to what my body was crying out for, which was nothing. This kind of nothingness just seems to slowly and slyly suck the life and spirit out of me. I just couldn't handle any more of it. The doer in me seems to become more and more uneasy with the lack of stimulation. I have had to re-asses the situation I was slipping into, and come to the conclusion that I need to re-visit the all too familiar 'quest to find balance'
Yes, I know... I know... I need to listen to my body and rest up. But this perhaps is not so good for my poor wee soul which fades with such stagnancy. I lost the battle over the last couple of weeks, and it bugged the hell out of me. Being on treatment for three weeks all the time with little breaks in between means that the treatment slowly but surely wears me down. This is the consistency problem that I talk about. Just when I get myself out of that deep dark hole, and I'm lying there with the sun beating down on my face, drawing a big smile, and exhaling with relief, I then get thrown back down the hole again, to start the whole damn process over again. It seems an impossibility to me to remain on a level with such inconsistency.
So it is normal for me to go through these periods when I'm just too worn out to have that luxury of motivation. I had my weekly acupuncture yesterday, and I told her about my weekend depression and that I felt it was some how related to my stomach as it started after I had to take my high dose of oral antibiotics that I take for three days between my IV's. She says that antibiotics really dry out the stomach, and this can result in a ying deficiency which can cause a kind of depressive emptiness feeling in the stomach, and one can feel very unfocused, aimless(which is exactly how I would explain it) and restless.
We continued on with what we have been doing with every week with the acupuncture and she focused on extra points in the stomach. I can't say for sure if it worked or if I've just had enough of my maony, depressing head, but today I have felt more upbeat, and determined to pick myself up. And I started with the above recipe.
I have to say, I had a truly amazing walk. I am SO lucky where I live by the sea. Everything just seemed so alive and vibrant to me. There was the glistening water blanketed under the shining sun, a dappled sky of fluffy clouds which artfully shadowed parts of the sea. And that sea. It was such a magnificent mixture of greens and blues. The beauty didn't stop there. The sand seemed to swirl in such artistic shapes. The jagged rocks below the path I walked on were painted beautifully with green and yellow mosses. Having the sun hit my face, and my favorite music flowing through my ears, each and every sense of mine was alight!
I will continue to feed my soul this vital recipe for the duration of my treatment. It's what I need. It's what my dear soul needs!! And I shall gladly keep feeding it until it becomes obese : )