Why is this Winter being so difficult and tenacious? After the exertions of the weekend, my energy envelope shrunk to almost nothing and my mood took a dive. I've seen the doc this morning and she's referred me to the cavalry as an urgent case. The cavalry being the local community mental health people. It's OK, I've been here before, I'm rather annoyed to be here again, but that's the revolving door nature of depression.
I've not seen this doctor before. My usual one was away. This one was wonderful and I shall stick with her. When I rang for an appointment yesterday I had a choice of two. I asked the receptionist what each of their specialisms were and she said well, Dr G, everyone loves her. I said that qualification was good enough for me. And, in fact, now I'm in love too.
I had a long wait. Testament to her caring I think. By the time she called me in I was jelly. If you ever watched Deep Space Nine, Odo, the shape shifting security officer had to rest in a bucket. If he got near the end of his awake time and wasn't near a bucket he was in deep trouble. I felt a bit like that, like she was the bucket and I just poured myself into it. I told her everything - like everything - and used half a box of tissues in the process.
So she's referring me, and once, she says, we've got my head straight, we can work on the physical issues. She understands about ME/CFS and says local services are very poor. I explained how difficult it is to even say you have it to a new doctor in case you aren't believed. And she agreed how difficult that was.
I would have been very happy to sit under her desk for the rest of the day but since that would have been impractical and slightly innappropriate, I left. I'm to ring her if I feel bad or if I don't hear from the CMH people very soon.
So, thank you my little band of cheerleaders for your continuing, very welcome and very necessary support. You make all the difference.