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Chris M.

Boise, Idaho
Having spent most of my life as an addict and alcoholic I didn't really believe that long term sobriety was possible. Today i find that it is not only possible but there are things I can to to help insure it. One of those things is sharing my experience with others.
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The Scarlet Letter by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism A. Atheist. Two and a half years sober and I find myself so fucked off about the conception of god that I got sober with that I can’t live joyfully. In all likelihood I just ... Read on »
It’s finally over and I ... by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism It’s finally over and I’m getting in the car to drive home shortly.  I need the next couple of days to rest up from my vacation. Read on »
Signs and Highways by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism “You’re out there walking down the highway and all of the signs have been blown away.  Sometimes you wonder if you’re walking in the wrong direction.”  -Patty Griffin Someone ... Read on »
A Sinner Among the Saints by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism It is so strange, and so strange that it is comforting to be again in the company of my family and among people who share my religious heritage. The Church (of Jesus Christ o ... Read on »
Reunion by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism It’s been almost 2 years since we were all together.  Grandma’s funeral doesn’t count, but 2 years ago my entire clan got together for a reunion (you can read about here) and ... Read on »
A Poor Connection by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism Since even before I got sick I felt like I was suffering from a poor connection with HP.  Looking back, it appears that I’ve been running on self will for some time, but I’ve ... Read on »
You do NOT want to see this . . . by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism I’m healing - slowly . . . . I actually went to work today and stayed for almost 4 hours before the edges of my incisions lit on fire and I had to get home and lie down to tak ... Read on »
It’ll be just like starting over. by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism Nobody told me that, and honestly, I’m not sure I would have been able to hear them if they did, but man-o-man it is an important thing to realize.  That’s  my experience anyw ... Read on »
What Could I Possibly Be Grateful For? by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism Well, I’ll tell you what, I’d better darn well figure it out because the bottomless well of self-pity that life has been as I’ve been detoxing off the days and days I spent on ... Read on »
This Too Shall Pass by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism But until it does I cry myself to sleep every night. (This too shall pass.) In the daytime and around people I pretend everything is okay - that I’m getting better; and I s ... Read on »
Dumb Reason to Stop by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism I’ve gone on here this long - why quit now.  I’ve changed my mind.  I do have somewhere anonymous to write now but . . . .  this place still has meaning to me. Wishing I Was D ... Read on »
Il Finale by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism The value of this blog to me was that it was anonymous space for what was happening in my head to work itself out as part of a deeply self reflective process.  When a handful ... Read on »
As uncomfortable as I am with th ... by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism As uncomfortable as I am with the fact that I have been a total dick since last Friday, it’s going to be hard to convince me that any of it was really wrong, since yesterday w ... Read on »
Accountability by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism I suppose I could place some of the blame on the fact that I hadn’t had any nicotine.  This is day 18 without cigarettes.  At 3PM I still hadn’t had a lozenge.  It was not mod ... Read on »
Maybe I’m not so freaking ... by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism Maybe I’m not so freaking serene.  Yesterday he yelled at us for putting the dog out so much.  So we backed off.  Today, there is dog crap in the dining room, and it’s just ly ... Read on »
My New Girlfriend by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism Losing Gracie was seriously the saddest thing I’ve been through in  forever.  I found myself crying for a couple of days.  I kept thinking I saw her. A dear friend kept sugges ... Read on »
Smoke Free Day 16 and Other Matters of Living in Recovery by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism I’ve been having this internal argument about smoking cessation with nicotine replacement therapy.  Namely, in quitting smoking I’m really quitting 2 different addictions; smo ... Read on »
You think you see from your eyes ... by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism You think you see from your eyes, but it’s wrong.  You really see everything with your heart. - Mr. Brainwash Read on »
Time takes time . . . by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism Probably one of the most important things I learned in early recovery; time takes time.  I was always looking for and expecting to see big changes, and I wouldn’t see any chan ... Read on »
Perverse Irony by Chris M. Posted in: Blog Posts in Alcoholism c.a. Marks is right about needing to take some time.  I think I’d vote for a day or two or three, though.  I wish it was later in the year and I could go up to the lake.  I ha ... Read on »