I got a phone call from Kyle's Neurologist the other night. He explained a little bit what the results of Kyle's EEG were - we have an appt in December so I am sure we will discuss it more then. The findings of the EEG were abnormal - which in my book isn't so bad b/c we have been told it will always be abnormal - b/c he will be compared to other kids his age and his brian developed 1/2 out of the womb which just plain makes things different. His connections and electrical activity is expected to be different. So that didn't sound so bad. The main finding we discussed was that his background activity was slow and spread out. well to a mom that sounds pretty rough - but Dr. Clark assured me that this statement is referring to the electrical activity in the brain... not kyle's cognitive ability. Well - so does generally slow and spread out electrical activity affect kyle's cognitive ability? Theoretically the answer is yes - it does and it will. the clinical answer is "we shall see". and as of right now - kyle's brain looks immature and kyle looks immature - so that matches. but kyle is progressing in learning and concepts - and so there is not a reason to think (even according to the neurologist!) that this would stop. So I obviously felt much better after speaking to him. Slow is just not the word you want to work with when they are talking about your child's brain!
So here is my take - I don't like the punches that feel like they come out of no where. They are hard to swallow and feel like they knock me back to standing in the NICU. that sickening feeling of not knowing. but here is how I will look at it. Kyle has to fight harder and I will help him. I do believe the Lord is healing him. He will be able to sort shapes and do puzzles - it might just take more work. So work we will do! I will use this as a reminder that Kyle needs to work hard and that means me working hard! I guess as moms we all need that reminder sometimes. Thanks for praying - I could not have a better group of friends that keep me focused during moments of stumbling. I love you all!