I am ticked. I just am. Can I vent? I mean, I hate to be hateful on here, but I feel like if I can just go off on all the things that are ticking me off maybe I'll feel better and less like, you know, kicking something. A lot. Venting is supposed to help, right?
I am ticked about missing House last night. Watching it online is just not the same. I am ticked that I am not interested in any of the stars on Dancing with the Stars this season. I am ticked that my DVR cut off the first five minutes of The Office last week, and I am also kind of ticked that the show couldn't have just let Jim and Pam get married before she got pregnant. Would it have been that hard? They were already engaged. Really.
I'm ticked that I opened
my mail box the other day to find a card addressed to John and ______ McCall. Problem was, the second name was not mine. And it just happened to be the person he is "friends" with now. And it was for a jewelry store. And it wasn't a mistake. I know. Because I called. And that said the only way they could have gotten the address is from someone's ID when they were in the store. Yeah. Ticked. Also ticked that made me so upset I actually threw up several times and am relatively sure that it's what started my decline into dehydration and pre-term contractions over the weekend. Also ticked that the explanation for this made no sense whatsoever. Sorry for all the choppy sentences, there.
I'm ticked that I have three sick children in the house right now. Sick kids make for whiny kids and I am at my limit for whining.
I'm ticked that today is John's birthday and his visitation today was what we found about all last week. He said he picked up a shift for today and he needed the money, and he couldn't come at our scheduled time. I said he needed to stick to the schedule and it wasn't variable, especially at such late notice. Needless to say, he didn't see them today. They gave him their cards last night, and today the kids wanted to leave him a note in his car telling him they were thinking about him. Except his car wasn't there, and again, the explanation didn't match up. Ticked.
I'm ticked that no matter what I do, having two white dogs means I could sweep our dark walnut hardwood floors 20 times a day and they'd still look dirty. I cannot stand dirty wood floors. And what's the deal with mopping the floor and it looking dull within twelve hours? I need to strip the floor, but I don't know how to do that. Ticked.
I am ticked that sometimes I feel like this blog is like a car wreck you can't help but watch. I say that because when I write about John or our marriage, I get substantially more hits than when I write about the kids and I in our every day lives. And right now, hits equal income for me, the only income I have.
I am ticked that when I get comments like this one:
Hi Ellyn, I've sat here and read through most of your posts which has taken me several hours. I've tried to read through it all so I can get most of the story before jumping to any conclusions, and let me say, I've held back for as long as I can.
Are you really surprised? I mean it is John afterall. John who typically dates 2-3 women at one time which has dated back to highschool. When he met you, chances are he was involved with other women or at least telling them the same things he was telling you! I guess its true what they say: once a cheater always a cheater.
Bottom line...John is scum. Its really too bad that it took you this long to figure it out. However, you are a beatiful, intelligent, motivated, strong woman. Do NOT let him take you to such an unhappy place. You are better than that, you are stronger than that, you have so much to give and so much to live for. You have BEAUTIFUL children, and amazing friends. Keep your head up and keep focused on the positives in your life and you will get through it. He will realize what a mistake he is making and its a shame he can't see what all he is missing out on.
You are beautiful, you are strong, you are determind, you are intelligent, you are a mother, you are caring, you are all these things and more. You can and you will get through this!!! :)
Comments like that one, and even after the past almost three months of my life, my first instinct is to defend him, to tell whoever this is (because of course they commented anonymously, when I'd really like to know more about some of these things) that he was never like that during our relationship or marriage, but what do I know anymore? Yet my first gut reaction is still to defend him. Ticked.
I'm ticked that there is something going on with our van and I don't know what it is and I'm afraid to find out how expensive it is. No, before you worry, I don't think it's super crucial to fix it right away.
I'm ticked that I get made at married people for no reason, just because they're married, even though I know that all kinds of people have all kinds of problems. I'm ticked when people try to tell me there's a reason for everything, because I don't buy it. I get that God is going to bring something good out of this, but I don't think he planned this for me, and think that if every little thing was planned out, the enemy would have no foothold here. But he does, and that's because we're fallible, and we have free will, and we live in a fallen world. Things don't always go according to plan. Now, that doesn't mean that He can't make something come from this that will make it worth it, but there is no reason to put kids through this. None. Satan's influence is strong in our world today, and we're all under attack.
I'm ticked that Maks from Dancing with the Stars is engaged to Karina. Just can't see it. Not sure why. Also, is Derek still dating Shannon Elizabeth? Anyone know?
I am super ticked that because of all the rain we've been having, the bugs have been running into our house like it's Noah's Ark and I've had to kill at least two roaches a night. TICKED.
I'm also ticked because I'm having insurance issues with the kids' insurance and I'm going to have to call them. Here's a tidbit of info on me....I hate calling people. HATE IT. A lot. I tend to avoid for days, weeks, maybe even months. Ask my friends. They'll tell you. I don't even call them. I also can't call even if I wanted to, because I am almost out of cell phone minutes. Also ticked about that. The number of minutes I signed up for seemed like a lot. It's not, apparently. Ticked.
I should probably stop, huh? Cleansing Breath. Don't leave me hanging...you have got to be ticked about something in your life, big or small. Please share so I don't feel like such a Grumpy Gus. Or the female version of that. whatever. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be happier tomorrow!
I am ticked about missing House last night. Watching it online is just not the same. I am ticked that I am not interested in any of the stars on Dancing with the Stars this season. I am ticked that my DVR cut off the first five minutes of The Office last week, and I am also kind of ticked that the show couldn't have just let Jim and Pam get married before she got pregnant. Would it have been that hard? They were already engaged. Really.
I'm ticked that I opened my mail box the other day to find a card addressed to John and ______ McCall. Problem was, the second name was not mine. And it just happened to be the person he is "friends" with now. And it was for a jewelry store. And it wasn't a mistake. I know. Because I called. And that said the only way they could have gotten the address is from someone's ID when they were in the store. Yeah. Ticked. Also ticked that made me so upset I actually threw up several times and am relatively sure that it's what started my decline into dehydration and pre-term contractions over the weekend. Also ticked that the explanation for this made no sense whatsoever. Sorry for all the choppy sentences, there.
I'm ticked that I have three sick children in the house right now. Sick kids make for whiny kids and I am at my limit for whining.
I'm ticked that today is John's birthday and his visitation today was what we found about all last week. He said he picked up a shift for today and he needed the money, and he couldn't come at our scheduled time. I said he needed to stick to the schedule and it wasn't variable, especially at such late notice. Needless to say, he didn't see them today. They gave him their cards last night, and today the kids wanted to leave him a note in his car telling him they were thinking about him. Except his car wasn't there, and again, the explanation didn't match up. Ticked.
I'm ticked that no matter what I do, having two white dogs means I could sweep our dark walnut hardwood floors 20 times a day and they'd still look dirty. I cannot stand dirty wood floors. And what's the deal with mopping the floor and it looking dull within twelve hours? I need to strip the floor, but I don't know how to do that. Ticked.
I am ticked that sometimes I feel like this blog is like a car wreck you can't help but watch. I say that because when I write about John or our marriage, I get substantially more hits than when I write about the kids and I in our every day lives. And right now, hits equal income for me, the only income I have.
I am ticked that when I get comments like this one:
Comments like that one, and even after the past almost three months of my life, my first instinct is to defend him, to tell whoever this is (because of course they commented anonymously, when I'd really like to know more about some of these things) that he was never like that during our relationship or marriage, but what do I know anymore? Yet my first gut reaction is still to defend him. Ticked.
I'm ticked that there is something going on with our van and I don't know what it is and I'm afraid to find out how expensive it is. No, before you worry, I don't think it's super crucial to fix it right away.
I'm ticked that I get made at married people for no reason, just because they're married, even though I know that all kinds of people have all kinds of problems. I'm ticked when people try to tell me there's a reason for everything, because I don't buy it. I get that God is going to bring something good out of this, but I don't think he planned this for me, and think that if every little thing was planned out, the enemy would have no foothold here. But he does, and that's because we're fallible, and we have free will, and we live in a fallen world. Things don't always go according to plan. Now, that doesn't mean that He can't make something come from this that will make it worth it, but there is no reason to put kids through this. None. Satan's influence is strong in our world today, and we're all under attack.
I'm ticked that Maks from Dancing with the Stars is engaged to Karina. Just can't see it. Not sure why. Also, is Derek still dating Shannon Elizabeth? Anyone know?
I am super ticked that because of all the rain we've been having, the bugs have been running into our house like it's Noah's Ark and I've had to kill at least two roaches a night. TICKED.
I'm also ticked because I'm having insurance issues with the kids' insurance and I'm going to have to call them. Here's a tidbit of info on me....I hate calling people. HATE IT. A lot. I tend to avoid for days, weeks, maybe even months. Ask my friends. They'll tell you. I don't even call them. I also can't call even if I wanted to, because I am almost out of cell phone minutes. Also ticked about that. The number of minutes I signed up for seemed like a lot. It's not, apparently. Ticked.
I should probably stop, huh? Cleansing Breath. Don't leave me hanging...you have got to be ticked about something in your life, big or small. Please share so I don't feel like such a Grumpy Gus. Or the female version of that. whatever. Ugh. Hopefully I'll be happier tomorrow!