Last week was a rough one. I need to preface that this is a complete whine post!
Tabitha's son was hospitalized so we were without nursing for 9 days. It's hard to explain, but I take for granted having Tabitha and how much she TRULY frees up time for me. And it sounds kind of like an oxymoron to me - how can I take for granted something I don't want? Who would want to have a reason to want/NEED nursing? Who would want someone in and out of your house ALL the time? Who would want your kids, and yourself for that matter, to get so attached to someone only for them to inevitably move on? Not that I think Tabitha is going anywhere anytime soon, but the dynamics of nursing are never easy. Last week was just a huge reminder of that. The nursing agency was happy to send out a replacement for the week, but when the nurse they were going to send out called I did NOT get a good vibe from her. She wanted me to work around HER schedule, she sound annoyed, and she had no desire to come out and meet Alex first. Alex is quite quirky, so it does me absolutely no good to just have a body at school with her - they need to understand her and her schedule, so I declined. Alex gets off the bus at the same time Zach needs to get picked up from school - so trying to get her off the bus, loaded in the car, up to Zach's school, unload her, bring her in the school while she's happily yelling the whole way causing lots of stares just stresses me out. On a typical day, Tabitha is making Alex lunch and feeding her when I get home with Zach and we sit down to do his homework. On Monday night he had his sibling support group (more on that later), Tuesday he had piano lessons, Wednesday he had his class at church, Thursday Alex had physical therapy at 2:00 (Zach needs to be picked up by 2:15 so I obviously couldn't be in two places at the same) and then she started with her new speech therapist at 3:00 which meant we weren't going to be home until 4:30 - so there was a LOT of juggling and scheduling changes that had to take place and I'm very thankful to my friends who helped me out last week. Sometimes I wish so bad that Alex could entertain herself, go pick out a toy and just play by herself, or get around someway on her own. Having her 100% dependent on one of us for all of her waking hours is HARD. And I know people have multiple kids or have it worse than I do and would probably say get over it, but having to juggle two high demand kids at the same time when it's not the norm takes a lot of adjusting to. I'm grateful that last week IS NOT the norm, I really am, but that didn't make it any less stressful! I think it goes without saying I gave Tabitha a HUGE hug when I saw her on Monday!!