Health knowledge made personal
Join this community!
› Share page: Email Digg del.icio.us Reddit icon StumbleUpon Technorati
Go
Search posts:

PICU, Day #21, Feeling homeless

Posted Jun 06 2010 8:12pm

Hannah has been sedated and paralyzed all day, again.  Day #2 postop.

Daddy and the kids (and animals) all arrived in Vegas in the early afternoon at our new home.  Suddenly, it just all hit me at once that I am homeless right now.  I feel like a resident of TCH, wandering the halls at all hours to my room, my meals, and my new daily life.   Tomorrow will be the beginning of week #4 here.   My “home” is now 1600 or so miles away.

I miss my family.  I miss Daddy and the kids horribly.  What I would give for a hug and a kiss from them right now.

I miss Hannah, my Hannah.  I spent a lot of time in Hannah’s room, many times just sitting in the chair holding her hand, stroking her face, and massaging her legs.   She just lies there.  I want so much to just scoop her up and cuddle with her.  I would give anything right now to be able to just see her look at me and smile.   I see this beautiful little girl, lying in the crib in the PICU, completely still, still on a vent through her trach and about a dozen other leads and IVs, nonresponsive…

I miss my Hannah.  It has been too many weeks now since I have seen her just “be.”  It still will be a few more days until she gets taken off “fresh trach precautions” and may be even able to hold her again.

I worry about Hannah once they wean her off, her addiction to these narcotic sedatives they had to use.  I fear that they will change her.

I just want my Hannah back, exactly as she was 3-1/2 weeks ago.

Post a comment
Write a comment:

Related Searches