USA Triathlon (USAT) keeps sending me emails and magazines, ostensibly with training tips, but mostly they're full of advertisements for high-end triathlon sunglasses. They look fantastic.
I went to Walmart and got some there.
Here's one of my deepest secrets. It's so secret, I'm only telling YOU.
I have never bought sunglasses anywhere other than Walmart and gas stations.
That's because within 2 weeks/months, I will have lost or broken them. So for me $5 does in fact seem like the better investment.
This time around I got some lightweight, super flexible, non-smudge, UVA/UVB rose-colored (I always prefer rose-colored) sunglasses with nice soft nose pads for .... $20.00.
My Walmart standards are increasing. I'll let you know how that goes.
Then I went to an Elite Triathlon store where the nice guy who works there helped me learn all about GU and Chomps and other things that make a lot of triathletes throw-up.
I got samples of each flavor to try out while I "run" on Saturday.
I already ate (more like sucked on) my sample of Jet Blackberry GU. I was really hoping "Jet" referred to color or speed and not to airplane fuel.
It tasted okay.
Apparently it's the gooey texture of GU that gets people worked up. My guess is that those people have never cleaned diarrhea off their child's walls, bed and body three times a night for something like 893 consecutive days.
Not much gets to you after that. Not even Jet Fuel Blackberry GU.
Then that pesky question, how to prevent my silly Achilles from getting more injured?
Answer! I'm now the proud owner of a pair of full CEP compression socks with built-in Achillessehnen-Protektor. Because (duh) Germans make the best compression socks.
Unfortunately, the Germans made me pay more for my socks than Walmart made me pay for my sunglasses.
Oh! I almost forgot. I had to measure my calves for a proper fit. Well, just one actually. And I know you're wondering what it is so that you can compare your muscles to mine.
I'll save you the embarrassment of asking.
My calf is 13" in circumference. You know, so if I die in this race, you can use my calf measurement to identify my body. Just make sure they measure the right leg. By which I mean, the RIGHT leg.
I was gonna get the shocking pink socks (because who doesn't want to be noticed for walking an entire race?) but they were out. The store also carried green, red and black, but I settled for white.
Figured matte-white socks would pair nicely with the rest of my shiny black faux-leather Batgirl uniform.
So this Saturday is shaping up to be pretty epic. Or is it epoch?
See you on the other side!