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I Am

Posted Aug 06 2009 10:26pm
This is a two-part entry just to introduce our many new readers to the "two Bens." In a nutshell, this is a summary of the past few years of blogging. Tomorrow we will feature my hero and son, Ben. Perhaps somewhere down the road a Jessie & Joan introduction might be in order.

I am a father, husband, son, brother, and friend. I am someone who cares and will trust, love, and believe in someone else to a fault because I want to believe in the best of others. I am fooled very easily by some people because of this trait. I am certain that I inherited this trait from my father.

I am an artist influenced by anything and everything around me. Specifically I am mostly an acrylic painter who might just pick up whatever is nearby and apply it to my painting. I am a talker which makes my job incredibly fun at shows and festivals because I enjoy meeting new people, particularly those who enjoy my work.

I am an advocate for families of special needs children and will bend over backwards to help those that need it. Because of Ben I am not afraid to embrace an exceptional child (or adult) who just might drool on me because I know they will give me more love than I could return. I am not afraid to introduce myself to someone pushing a wheelchair in public and ask about that loved one because I know that family has gone through the same hell as us.

I am a Christian but still question the Bible as the inherent "word of God." I am certain there was a Jesus Christ but I am also certain he would be very disappointed by modern organized religion. I am an Episcopalian but haven't stepped foot in a church in about five years. Although I regret that I am working most Sundays these days. I am busy spending "off weekends" with my family and I am certain God is okay with that.

I am an independent voter and distrust anyone who is affiliated with any party. I am disgusted at folks who wear blinders and won't listen to the other side (particularly if they are not respectful of another opinion). With that said I am more hopeful of the next eight years than I was of the last eight.

I am a married heterosexual man who has several gay friends who deserve the right to marry their chosen spouse. I am sometimes in awe of their love and truly respect their commitment. I am disgusted that they are discriminated against just like exceptional families.

And I am honest about the dirty parts. I am a survivor of sexual abuse as a child. I am a survivor of panic/anxiety disorder due to the previous statement and I am trying to be just like my dad - a good father, husband, and son (and who died unexpectedly in 1993 with the weight of the world on his shoulders). I am a "wine-oh" who probably drinks too much of the grape to cope with life. I am going to admit that mostly I don't like myself but I want to wake up to better days because I know I can do better for the most part.

There. Three years in a post. It's me and I'm thankful for those that deal with it everyday. By the way, I SO want to tag some folks but the parameters are really intrusive. If you want to do the same then at least link me.
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