Do you ever feel emotions that you can't make sense of? Sadness. Defeat. Resignation. Discontent. Ill-At-Ease. Confusion. Fatigue. All of these at the same time. Having a child that is "unique" is hard. I just want to know what is best for her. I'm tired of hearing "Ainsley is teaching us about herself." (Which I've learned BTW is simply doctor speak for "I Don't Have A Clue"). Every time I think I have come to a place of acceptance I am reminded that it is not 100% so. My inner thoughts frequently lead me searching on the internet with a new idea that might be "it." IT is never IT. Ever.
My newest IT was Dr. Kami Parsa a surgeon in California that I hoped would be able to "fix" Ainsley's eyes or at least tell us what to do. We had a Skype appointment with him this morning. I laughed when they apologized for being 5 minutes late. If only they knew how many hours I've sat in waiting rooms, actually added together it would be days. I was amazed when he offered this service of an appointment using web cams over the internet. A real doctor is doing this??! I nervously anticipated the appointment but it turned out that when he called he could see us, but his camera was "broken".