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Frustration or anxiety?

Posted Oct 12 2010 9:00am
We are due at CF clinic on Tuesday. This time, Ian is coming with us so he can ask all the questions instead of me.

I still feel like I cant ask anything at the moment, despite the reassurance I can and wont be judged solely over my profession.

The main subject is the possibility of trying hypertonic saline. There are one or two other things but I will blog about those after clinic.

Again I must add that I hold all of Sophie's team in the highest regard, they are amazing.

I had a call from Sophie's CF psychologist today. We are meeting up on Friday to just have a fun day in outpatients and on the main site where her ward is. This is again to work on her hospital anxiety.

I honestly didn't think I was still feeling as bad about the whole nurse vs mum thing.

I am.

Soph's wonderful psychologist will be speaking to the whole team before clinic to try and explain my side of things and how I am feeling. Hopefully this will work and we can all move on and lower our defensive walls once and for all.

I cant decide where it all stemmed from. I guess it has been an accumulation of things, possibly misinterpretation from all parties too.
I also cant decide whether I am just totally frustrated that I cant control Sophie's CF or whether I am just completely anxious about the whole thing and that I probably know way too much.

Anybody have any ideas or thoughts?

Anybody feeling or felt like this?

I guess I'm just having a mummy wobble at the moment, doesn't help because both Sophie and I have been poorly. I'm finally on some antibiotics as I was actually coughing up stuff way more colourful than Sophie!

Nice ;)

Anyways, we are both feeling much better and thank you to everyone for your well wishes, really sweet and actually needed. You guys rock.

On the eating front, Sophie is still doing really well, I am so proud of her.

She's trying many different types of foods now and actually asking for things she will at least lick and she has also been biting into things.

Yes you heard right, BITING.

She ate nearly a whole cracker at nursery, her chewing technique needs some work but this girl is learning!

I did her weekly weight this morning but I am going to repeat it tonight only because that is the time I normally weigh her, so I want as true of a reading as I can get.

I will do a very small blog later to compare it to the one I got earlier.

Last week as you may remember she weighed 15.5kgs, this morning she weighed 16kgs!
I am not doing cartwheels just yet though, as I want to check as I cannot believe she has put on 0.5kgs in a week!



Random photo.


Another picture from Esme's christening. Sophie has no issue with dirty floors it would seem!




There will also be some interesting news over on our feeding problems blog later in the week so keep an eye out for that.

I have added a new page to the top of my blog about Sophie's daily treatment regime for anyone who may be interested in knowing what she does everyday.

So Friday we meet with the psychologist, and Tuesday it's CF clinic AND port flush.

Take care all.

xx
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